Footbawl Leaks: Mike Tomlin’s Exciting Night

As you may have heard last night, Mike Vick signed with the Pittsburgh Steelers. We knew that this would create buzz not only with the media, but with the team as well, so we got our experts to tap into coach Mike Tomlin’s phone. Here are the REAL and NOT FAKE AT ALL text messages from Tomlin the night Vick signed. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Articles, Footbawl Leaks

[Whispers Into The Hall of Torn ACLs] Straight Cash, Homey

In a world where preseason means end-season for some receivers…

Screen-Shot-2015-08-19-at-10.25.57-AMWhere championship hopes get torn from teams as easily as leg ligaments…

Sorry Ben, no trigger warning

Sorry Ben, no trigger warning

One man, neglected for years and cast aside, has one last chance to become a hero.

bDZWJ9G

“The sky’s the limit for me, Curt. So we’ll just have to wait and see.”

This fall…Randy Moss returns…in…

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

IT’S BACK MOTHERBITCHES

STRAIGHT CASH HOMEY TWO: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO.

Coming to a football field near Ben, hopefully.


Seriously, please let this happen Lord. This is just the excitement this football season needs.

Leave a comment

Filed under Articles

Footbawl Leaks: Eli Manning’s Phone Isn’t Safe!

Over the offseason, you may have noticed we posted even less than usual. Some say it’s because we’re unmotivated, lazy slobs. But that’s only part of the reason. The other reason is that we’ve been working on new technology for the past few months. And now, it’s finally ready.

We have hired a team of hackers to get personal information. But don’t worry, we’re not the NSA. We don’t care about your texts and your cheating spouses. We care about what football players are doing and planning. Today, we unveil to you the texts we have procured from NFL personnel. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Footbawl Leaks. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Articles, Footbawl Leaks

TV Characters react to RG3’s latest proclamation

rg3

Winger’s more of a Wilson fan

Yeah, yeah, this is lazy, and usually I’d be fine with quarterbacks saying this, but…come on. It’s RG3. He never plays. I am pretty happy with my abilities as a sysadmin, but I’m not proclaiming myself to be the best ever because there’s plenty of evidence to the contrary. I know he responds to these questions, but we’ve come far along now that he should know to just not answer. It just causes us to…

Plus, come on. We all know who the best quarterback in the NFL is: Joe Flacco!

Just kidding, Wee Bey. He sucks.

Leave a comment

Filed under Articles, Ramblings

NFL MVP Odds: Let’s Create The Most Realistic Scenario Where Tony Romo Wins MVP

Okay first off, all of the quarterbacks have to go.

green bay

“Death by snuusnuu”

honduras qb died

The gator said Brees tastes like Jimmy John’s

pittsburgh qb

Remember, we’re shooting for realism here

Tom Brady

“NFLPA can do nothing about it because they literally have no power at all.”

I didn’t kill off Andrew Luck because, come on, he’s overrated.

As for the other positions:

rb detroit dallas

And finally, JJ Watt was found…no, that’s not true. He just plays defense. He’ll never win because he plays defense.

Enjoy your trophy, Tony!

The only thing that wasn’t shopped. How crazy is that?

Leave a comment

Filed under Articles