Monthly Archives: August 2012

Hard Knocks Episode Four Recap: “You’ve Been Cut” Edition

The star of episode four!

You’d think by now we’d nail down a standard format for our Hard Knocks recaps. We’ll you’d be wrong! Today you are getting UNPRECEDENTED ACCESS (!!!!) into the lives of our writers. Here was the conversation Joseph and I had while we watched the fourth episode.

Note: I would recommend watching the episode before reading this. Continue reading

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Twelve guidelines NFL players (and pretty much everyone else on the planet) should follow

“Read the fucking list!”

It seems like many athletes are getting arrested these days. While common sense supposedly accounts for avoiding such behavior, some of these guys just can’t catch a break from the law.

Some of them are a bit more valuable to their team than others, so it’s somewhat understandable that Jerry Jones would be pissed at Dez Bryant for his superfluous off-field dramatics. And while Dez might have the luxury of a security team ratting out each juicy transgression to Jerry and keeping him in line, others don’t have the kind of hands-on care normally reserved for small children.

I’ve proposed a list of guidelines which football players, basketball players, and generally all sentient beings that have pulses should adhere to. Without further ado, what it takes to not be shitty: Continue reading

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Hard Knocks Episode Three Recap

The most interesting star left on the show? Uh oh…

At this point, you have to think HBO is kicking themselves. Instead of going with the Dolphins, they could have tried to shadow the Seattle Seahawks during training camp. Not only do they also have a quarterback controversy, but they haven’t cut their egotistical big name washed up wide receivers yet! Plus, Pete Carroll seems delightfully insane. Anyway, let’s ignore the hypotheticals and take a look at episode three. Continue reading

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Drafting Without Research: My Fantasy Football Plan

It’s 11:45. You have work in 7 hours. Your eyes are tired, your cheek is red from the palm of your hand. Your girlfriend/wife/dog/roommate/imaginary friend has long ago gone to bed, tired of telling you to turn off the computer and go to sleep.

But you can’t join him/her/it. Why?

Because you’re too busy reading fantasy football draft columns.

We’ve all been there. Every August, we become consumed with our desire to get every bit of knowledge we can. We listen to the radio, we watch TV, we ask our friends and our family members. All because we’re obsessed with winning our fantasy football leagues.

Well, that ends for me. Starting this year, I promise to do no research for my fantasy football draft. I will not read one KFFL snippet. If I’m listening to ESPN radio and Matthew Berry comes on the radio, I will either turn it off or, if I can’t reach the radio dial, crash into the nearest lightpole. I will go into my fantasy football drafts with absolutely no “insider knowledge” on who to take and who to let slide into later rounds.

I probably won’t win, and I might lose some money in the process. But at least I’ll be able to spend my August well rested and not concerned with what third string running back is having a good preseason.

So how will I conduct my drafts? I’m glad you asked! I have a few ways I’m considering, and if you’re tired of caring too much about draft night, you can try them too. Continue reading

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Stupid Stories Revisited: The RG3/Kirk Cousins “Controversy”

Subway wouldn’t make a BBQ Chicken bust of a back-up, I’ll tell you that much

Remember on the second day of the 2012 NFL draft when the ‘Skins drafted Kirk Cousins, and analysts on every network collectively lost their shit? I was on record saying I didn’t care for the pick because of other team needs, but some others took it a bit farther than that. Continue reading

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