Name your fantasy…

“You got Jesus for your flex in the fifth? Nice.”

If you play fantasy, by now your lineup(s) are locked and loaded. You have carefully scraped the Cheeto dust from beneath your nails to make room for even more Cheeto dust. It’s a legit argument that any person capable of reading a top-200 sheet can assemble a competent fantasy team, so that means the only way to really set yourself apart is by picking a sweet team name.

If you haven’t decided on one yet, here are some names still (surprisingly?) available for 2012.  I conjured up a few, relied on some depraved friends for others, and stole a couple from leagues I’ve been part of. I did attempt to keep things at least semi-original (i.e. no “Show Me Your TD’s” or “The Te-Blows” or “Mr. Rodgers’ Neighborhood” because that’s just plain lazy and you should be flogged in public for using those.)

This is a kid-unfriendly list, so if you are offended by some of these entries I advise that you contact one of our esteemed editors, and they will immediately cut you a check to compensate for your emotional distress. Oh, you know I’m only kidding; we don’t actually care about your feelings…we just want your clicks!

From the “Clevah Girl…” department:

-I Live In A Van Down By Philip Rivers

-Percy Control

-Who’s Afraid of William Roaf

-Query Pride

-All Men Are Briggs

-The Ndamukongatrixes

-Fire Cotchery

-Ve’ll Calvin Your Johnson, Lebowski”

From the “Ew” department:

-The Matt Stafford Infections

- Play-Action Gastric Bypass (team logo: Rex Ryan’s face)

-Two Mannings, One Cup

-Mark Ingram Toenail

-Sex Sorgi at My Place!

-The Colston Sores  

From the “Go Directly to Jail/Hell” department:

-Sandusky’s Tickle Monsters

-Air McNair’s Shotgun Offense (or Shotguns Make You Seau)

-Detroit Lion About ‘Roids

-Hitler’s Aryan Foster Family

-Seau, Duerson, and Waters Present: Two In the Chest, One In the Head (just Google it)

-Packer in Ice

- Dez Bryant’s Mother’s Day Gift

-Andy, Reid The Eulogy

-On Campus, Starin’ at the Titus Young

Finally, from the *shakes head sadly* department:

-AmIKendallWrightGuyz?

And feel free to submit your own favorite witty/inappropriate/head-scratching team names below.