Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Eight

The college football schedule for this week was jam packed with marquee match-ups that would go a long way to shape the landscape of the season. To contrast that, the NFL games this week looked awful on paper. Chargers vs. Browns? Chiefs vs. Raiders? With a few exceptions, basically every game on the slate looked to be either a mismatch or a snoozer. Luckily even the most boring of games still gives me plenty to overreact about!

JPP thought he’d give the refs a break and signal the fourth Romo turnover himself

The Microcosm Bowl!

No, it isn’t a mid December game between Utah State and Syracuse. It happened yesterday. Rarely have I watched a game that did more to explain two teams’ seasons and personalities than the one between the Giants and Cowboys did on Sunday afternoon.

The Cowboys looked unpredictable, talented, boneheaded, dynamic, undisciplined, and brilliant. Their stunning playmaking ability and complete lack of consistency were on display for a national audience that saw them go down 23-0 only to take the lead at one point before ultimately losing. Dez Bryant and Tony Romo will no doubt take turns as piñatas for the media today, as each player did their fair share to give the Cowboys their fourth straight loss at the new Jerryworld theme park dome to the Giants.

The defending champs, also, re-iterated exactly who they are. They are a team that often looks sloppy but in the fourth quarter, when the game is on the line, there isn’t a quarterback in the league you’d rather have out there than Eli Manning. It feels weird typing that, but at this point it seems obvious.

So hey, here’s some guys that should be fired…

1. Andy Reid

Listen, I’m all for stability in the NFL when possible, but enough is enough. And I’m not saying Andy should be fired because of that “sometimes the players need a new voice” cliché. They are professional football players making millions of dollars, if they can’t get motivated because the coach has been there for too long then they can all go fuck themselves. No, I think Andy should be fired because he hired an offensive line coach to be defensive coordinator, then dismissed said coach when his defense actually started to play well, left a completely inept offensive coordinator in place, and continues to avoid giving the ball to his best player.

2. Norv Turner

While I would argue that Norv is not doing nearly as bad of a job this year as he did in previous seasons, that doesn’t mean I trust him anymore in the short or long term. Losing 7-6 to the Browns somehow feels worse than losing 30-6.

3. Mike Tannenbaum

The Jets general manager should be on a hotter seat than any of these coaches, however. Not only did he bring in a huge distraction in Tim Tebow, a player that isn’t even being used on the field for more than a couple snaps a game, but he made little effort to fix one of the most anemic offenses I have ever seen. If your biggest offensive weapon at this point in the season is a guy named Jerome Kurley, it might be time to re-evaluate the personnel decisions of your football team. Rex Ryan, for his Super Bowl guarantees and the way he lost control of the team last year, should not be far behind.

“THE BRONCOS ARE GOING TO THE SUPER BOWL OMG!” – Everyone

After the Broncos impressive route of the Saints last night, and their first two game winning streak of the season, Denver will now start becoming more of a sexy Super Bowl pick. While they did look very good against a New Orleans team that for whatever reason just wasn’t playing with any urgency whatsoever, I would caution against getting too worked up about this Broncos squad yet.

While their games against the Texans and Patriots were close at the end, they were manhandled in each of those contests for much of the action. If they are going to make a Super Bowl run, these are two teams that they would most likely see in the playoffs. Also, if it wouldn’t have been for a complete Chargers meltdown they would be 3-4 right now.  I will say this however, Peyton’s check downs and audibles at the line of scrimmage last night looked absolutely deadly.

Random Jerkyness

-The New England Patriots are crediting* the Footbawl Blog’s entertaining and informative trial piece with motivating them to kick the ever loving shit out of the Rams in London. (* = potentially a complete lie)

-The NFL has been collectively freaking out about RG3 for the last week, but consider this: Andrew Luck has a better record with what everyone thought was a worse team at the start of the season. With an overtime touchdown pass, Luck lifted the Colts past the Titans and improved to 4-3.

-As much as it wounds me to type this, the Bears are for real. They have shown this season that they have the ability to crush teams, and they can also win close games even when they don’t play their best. As soon as they beat the Panthers with a last second field goal there was already a line forming by the podium to hear Cam Newton’s next bizarre press conference!

-The Seahawks can’t win on the road. Yeah, that’s really all I wanted to say about that.

Enjoy Monday Night Football tonight! If you like 16-10 games with subpar quarterback play, I don’t think you’ll have a problem doing so.