The current season has not reached its conclusion yet, but seeing as I’m a pessimist at heart I’ve already started thinking about the 2013 storylines that make me want to drink. I have listed five of them here, presented in no particular order.
Just imagine how much this will be worth after he puts up another 65 passing yards next season!
1. Jacksonville QB controversy
All signs are pointing to Tim Tebow ending up in a Jaguar uniform next season. The owner loves him, and selling tickets is going to end up being a bigger priority than winning games because…well, have you seen that roster? So expect the ESPN circus to roll into town and provide some absolutely unbearable coverage of training camp. Ed Werder is going to be coming at you live from Tebow’s lawn, Chad Henne and Blaine Gabbert are going to get more exposure than they will the rest of their careers combined, and head coach Mike Mularkey’s suicide will most likely be broadcasted live on the 10 AM Sportscenter.
2. Big Ben vs. Todd Haley
Before the 2012 campaign even got started, Roethlisberger was critical of the front office’s decision to bring in former Chiefs hothead blowhard coach Todd Haley as offensive coordinator. I agreed with Ben in the sense that their offense seemed to be doing just fine with Arians, and Haley appeared less than stable in KC. But as the season wore on it was Roethlisberger who had a problem being professional, calling out Haley’s playcalling decisions on multiple occasions. Even if these two don’t have a war of words in 2013, expect the media to fan the flames every time they don’t hug during the game.
3. Will Michael Vick/Mark Sanchez improve?
These two were talked about more than Adrian Peterson and Peyton Manning this season, because we really can’t get enough of quarterbacks in big markets sucking balls apparently. I expect Vick to find a starting job, not because a team will believe in him, but instead because there just aren’t that many great QBs in the NFL. I think his goal is to win comeback player of the year three more times before he retires. Sanchez, on the other hand, will most likely stay in New York because of his guaranteed money, and get beaten up by the media for the foreseeable future. At what point do people just run out of creative ways of saying, “Mark Sanchez is not good at football”? Expect that question to be put to the test in 2013!
4. Anything involving the New York Giants
“We aren’t getting enough respect! Yes, I know we lose every other game by 20!”
“That other team commits holding penalties and the refs didn’t call all of them! We’ve never seen that before.”
“Is Eli Elite? IS HE?!?”
“WE DON’T LIKE OUR FUCKING BEDS!”
“Sean Payton is talking to his players! We don’t have any proof, we just CAN’T SHUT THE FUCK UP!”
5. Broncos vs. Colts
These two teams will play each other in 2013, which will prompt every major network to act as if a quarterback has never faced his former team in the history of the universe. What will make the coverage even more uninteresting is the fact that unlike players like Brett Favre and his return to Green Bay, Peyton Manning and Andrew Luck don’t have a controversial bone in their bodies. That won’t stop networks like ESPN from trying their hardest to find any sign of tension. I personally can’t wait to hear both QBs say stuff like, “It’s just another week”. Sounds awesome! The closest thing Manning has ever done to taking a cheap shot in the media is implying that he was healthier than the Colts were letting on during the offseason last year.
What storylines are you already tired of? Let us know in the comments section!
Chris Dorsey
Nate Raby
Joseph Kyle Schmidt
Ben Van Iten
Hey, if the Colts and Texans both win this weekend, the Colts and Broncos will play in the Divisional Round. So yeah, it’s coming sooner than you think.
That Giants article has the best quote I have ever read.
“I really do. Beds.” – Linval Joseph
You woke up this morning and were really bored, huh?
. Dreading a repeat of Sunday in Minnesota & yet another Lambeau Letdown? Fearful that overrated, overstated and overhyped Aaron Rodgers will flop again when it matters most?
Yeah, I reckon it would worry me too. Lemme hit on these in order.
- Jacksonville…they still play football down there? Huh. Wake me when they’re relevant.
-Big Ben v. Todd Haley? Is this Footbawl Blog or ESPN propaganda I’m reading? Who cares? They’re dead in the water if the offensive line can’t keep Benny upright and healthy and especially if they can’t get better on defense.
- The Vick portion of this is easier to answer than Sanchez. Vick needs a STRONG offensive voice to tell him his old school “I can run by you if nobody’s open” days are done. He has to learn how to become a passer first who will scramble IF NECESSARY. I still like Vick’s intangibles to lead a team a lot more than Sanchez. However, if he has no line in front of him…just blow both of his kneecaps off. Seriously. Save him the time and trouble of going out there and getting waylayed.
Now as for Sanchez…oy. This season exposed him far more than anyone thinks it did Tebow. I do not see him as a starter anymore, I don’t. He does not possess the backbone I want to see out of a QB that can and will consistently lead a team to victory. I do not like the term “game manager”, as it’s a nice way of saying “don’t fuck up ya little shit” but a man who plays the way he did the last month and change…no.
If the Jets bring him back next season, it had better go buck wild like a stripper during Mardi Gras for beads to get legitimate weapons for him to throw to. Get him a line to block for him but above all else…
Get Norv Turner to call the plays for him to run. The defense for the Jets is not the issue. But a defense that ha an offense which is squandering the hard work they’re doing is counterproductive. Norv for my money, is the best offensive coordinator out there. Did work for Dallas in the early 90s. He can help rebuild Sanchez. But Woody cannot bring him back without putting some SERIOUS TALENT around him.
- Ah yes, the Giants. Like Arnold, they’ll be back.
- Broncs v. Colts? Next week hopefully.
Yeah, Broncos and Colts could happen next week…I just really doubt it. And as far as the “who cares?” to the Big Ben vs. Haley…I agree, that was kind of the point. I don’t care at all. But I keep seeing people write about it so it annoys me.
great post, heres my take on Tebow and why i would actually want him as my quarterback http://wellthatsdifferent.wordpress.com/2012/12/27/would-i-want-tebow/