For a few days I observed the scandal involving Tim Brown and Jerry Rice accusing their former coach Bill Callahan of throwing Super Bowl 37 with increasing annoyance. At first I didn’t really feel like commenting on it as, well…it’s stupid, but the more traction this story has gained the more it has filled me with bile and hate to the point that I must release it all over this blog. Hope you’re wearing goggles.
This is the kind of conspiracy theory that you might overhear at the bar from a few over served patrons.
“Everyone hates the Raiders, man. Even our own coach.”
“Plus isn’t he friends with the other coach?”
“HOLY SHIT BALLS DUDE! DO YOU SEE WHAT IS GOING ON HERE!?!”
“Well I suppose it is possible that he changed the game plan because our center, the offensive lineman that is most instrumental in changing protections at the line of scrimmage, went crazy and AWOL. Or maybe Bill just isn’t a very good coach.”
“Don’t be crazy. He threw the Super Bowl!”
I mean honestly, this isn’t like in pro wrestling where Callahan might “turn heel” and at the end of the game light a cigar and remove his Raiders shirt to reveal some Bucs gear underneath or something. These accusations are nonsensical at best and slanderous at worst. If Callahan won that game, he would have been in a club of Super Bowl Champion coaches that even after they no longer have use of their mental faculties, people would still clamor (and pay…a lot) for their services. Do Tim Brown and Jerry Rice have friends? If they did, they would realize how sweet it is to beat them at anything…MUCH LESS THE GODDAMN SUPER BOWL.
It seems like the last thing any NFL player is willing to do these days is admit that they were outplayed in a football game. My Packers are as guilty of this as anyone. After being absolutely throttled in the divisional round against the Giants last year, Clay Matthews made it a point to say that the Giants didn’t win…no, Green Bay beat themselves. What does that even mean anymore? No Clay, you got the ever loving shit beat out of you in all three phases of the game and if you admit that it’s not going to make your muscles or your balls disappear. Usually the excuse is not as creative as Brown and Rice’s, however.
Callahan released a statement denying the allegations, of course. It was worded in such a stern way that many are speculating that he might take legal action against Brown, and for the record I hope he does.
Tim Brown is starting to back off of his original statement a bit. He is now saying that he didn’t accuse Callahan of sabotaging the Super Bowl (uh…he did) because maybe a little bird told him that accusing someone of perpetrating one of the biggest scandals in the history of all of sports without even a shred of proof is fucking stupid.