This isn’t the best time of the year to be an NFL fan.
It isn’t even the best part of the offseason. Eventually there will be big name free agent signings, and you won’t be able to turn on the TV without being pelted in the ears with mock drafts. But none of that is happening right now. What we are dealing with right now is the equivalent of some tumbleweed slowly drifting across a prairie.
This is why I was so stoked about the twitter feud between Darrelle Revis and Richard Sherman! With what seemed like minimal provocation, Revis unleashed on his Seattle contemporary for yapping “like a girl” and Sherman immediately backed down. Just kidding! He went to Kevin Garnett’s fake tough guy school, so it went on for a while. If you’ve been following this site, you might know about my love of twitter feuds. With that in mind, here are five battles I’d like to see immediately.
Steve Young vs. Joe Montana
After being awkwardly amiable towards each other for decades, one day Montana finally snaps: “You know what’s awesome in the winter time? Kansas City! No, not really. Fuck you Steve Young.” Steve, being the class act that he is, tries to brush it off. Eventually Montana baits him into an all-out war with the following tweet: “You know that monkey that was on your back? Hope it bit you and gave you a monkey disease. And had a creepy human Joe Montana face.”
James Harrison vs. Jonathan Vilma
I don’t know about you, but I’d love to see a week long petty argument about who Roger Goodell has screwed over more!
Peyton Manning vs. Jim Irsay
While Peyton tends to come off as a pure and good natured fellow, his saga with the Colts last offseason exposed a shrewd and political side of legendary signal caller. If Manning wins a Super Bowl next year, and Andrew Luck has a terrible season look forward to a drunk Jim Irsay (after reading his twitter feed I’m convinced he’s constantly inebriated) tweet at 4 in the morning about how he doesn’t regret his decision. Peyton fires back, “Remember when doctors cleared me to play and you went with a rookie instead? #lol #hof”
Brett Favre vs. A Bunch of Drunk Guys from Wisconsin
Now that Favre has twitter, I wonder how many random drunk assholes from my home state send him tweets about how he’s a traitor or a jerk or something similar? Imagine if one day Brett started responding to all of them with barbs like: “Seriously, I was trying to my ass off to cheat on my wife the whole time I was here. But all your women are fat.”
Ray Lewis vs. Jesus Christ
@Godsfavoritelinebacker52: It’s a great day to give glory to @God
@God: Alright, I’ve finally had it.
@God: Check out your new twitter handle!
What twitter feuds would you be stoked to see? Let us know in the comments section!