Monday Morning Jerkface: Championship Sunday Edition

You’ve been driving for hours, trying to clear your head. The window is down, and the cool night breeze envelopes you, trying hopelessly to take away your pain. Why can’t your team ever seem to get a hall of fame signal caller, or a legendary defense? You’d give anything to go back in time and become a Broncos or a Seahawks fan. You tried to say, “Go Broncos” to yourself in the mirror, your face covered with orange paint. But you didn’t mean it. You know you didn’t mean it. You just cried and cried. Ignore the banging from the trunk. You haven’t kidnapped the Seahawks fan from across the street; you haven’t taken him out to the desert to do unspeakable things. You’re a good person. Everything is going to be okay.

This is Monday Morning Jerkface.

Sherman, seen here, five minutes before screaming at the lifeguard for not respecting his backstroke

Sherman, seen here, five minutes before screaming at the lifeguard for not respecting his backstroke

“EVERYONE DOUBTS US EXCEPT FOR THE MAJORITY OF PRO FOOTBALL PUNDITS WHICH PICKED US TO GO TO THE SUPER BOWL LAST SUMMER!”

I go back and forth on Richard Sherman, I really do.

I enjoy his raw talent, and his genuine personality. The latter is becoming more and more rare in pro sports as teams go to great lengths to avoid giving their opponent any “bulletin board material”. But at the same time…dude, shut up.

Was his postgame outburst immensely entertaining? Yes, of course it was. Was it also ridiculous? Yes, of course it was. The Seahawks have been the NFC favorite to go to the Super Bowl since day one. Their defense has been mentioned as one of the top three in the league all season and Richard Sherman is in the race for defensive MVP. But yet when the Seahawks earned a trip to the Super Bowl, all he could talk about is that one player on the other team didn’t like him. Aww, I’m sorry buddy. He belonged on the New York Giants’ Super Bowl champion teams, who became so fixated with the idea that they were being disrespected at every turn that they could hardly talk about anything else. Sherman is such an intelligent and eloquent young man, it is a shame that all anyone is going to know of him going forward is a petty screaming tirade, and a lot of that isn’t his fault. Also worth noting that all half of my Facebook feed could talk about after the game was how they couldn’t understand him…which, I dunno, felt kind of racist.

But honestly, it was all worth it for the look on Erin Andrews’ face and the way her voice trembled when she asked “Who was talking about you?” I laughed for about ten straight minutes.

Anyone remember that the first game happened?

After all the high drama of the NFC Championship game, and the previously mentioned postgame freak-out, the Broncos victory in the first game might be the bigger story from a football perspective.

Peyton Manning threw for 400 yards and a few touchdowns, because that’s what he does. But I think the real story here was how well their defense played. I realize that Tom Brady doesn’t have the same kind of weapons that he did in previous years, but he’s still Tom Brady. Holding any team with a quarterback of that caliber to 16 points is a major statement. The Denver D’s big weakness going into the game was in the secondary, but they caught a few breaks. The Patriots do not have a big play threat at wide receiver, and their opponent in the Super Bowl doesn’t really either. Contending with Crabtree, Boldin, and Vernon Davis could have been a potential nightmare, but going up against Doug Baldwin and Golden Tate isn’t going to put the fear into anyone. There is a chance that Percy Harvin will be back for that game, but he has only played in parts of two games this year and wouldn’t figure to be a major factor.

Random Jerkiness

-Running for over a hundred yards and a touchdown against the 49ers is a rare feat. Marshawn Lynch deserves a lot of credit for the Seahawks victory.

-A lot of credit goes to Jim Nantz and Phil Simms for admitting, on more than one occasion, that Tom Brady made a poor throw and it in fact was not automatically the nameless wide receiver’s fault for running a route that went closer to where the errant throw ended up.

-The Browns have indicated that they are interested in trading up to draft Johnny Manziel, which seems to be in line with their history of drafting people who aren’t going to play well in the NFL. I love Johnny’s talent and would love to see him shut the haters up, but his propensity for taking huge hits worries me far more than his lack of size.

-It’s nice to see the top seeds make it to the Super Bowl for once so everyone and their mother can shut up about the idea that homefield is not important, and “coming into the playoffs hot” is. I’m not saying that coming into the playoffs playing well is not important, with the last few Super Bowl teams coming from the wildcard round I just think the notion has gotten a tad overblown.

-Bowman not being awarded the ball on that goal line fumble was cruel because of the fact that he BROKE HIS GODDAMN KNEE IN HALF, but I’ve heard a lot of people blabbering on about how that might have cost the 49ers the game. Does anyone remember that the next play Seattle turned the ball over on downs? It’s beyond idiotic that the play wasn’t reviewable, but it didn’t make a difference in the outcome.

-Richard Sherman is going to be great on media day, but I’m going to be sad that Bill Belichick won’t be there to troll everyone with his dry mumbly answers.

Thanks for reading, and enjoy THE PRO BOWL HYPE MACHINE WHOO!

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1 Comment

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One response to “Monday Morning Jerkface: Championship Sunday Edition

  1. tholzerman

    pfft, c’mon, we all know this weekend is all about the ROYAL RUMBLE