Welcome to our new feature: Coaches Being Assholes!
Okay, it’s probably not going to be a real feature. But we’ve been packed to the brim by shitty acts by coaches lately. We’ll start in basketball, where two former players-turned-coaches did acts that some people would call savvy and most of us would call fucking shady as hell.
Kevin McHale intentionally stood in between Tim Duncan and his teammates during an inbounds pass at the end of a quarter. Duncan tried to get him to move, but after moving back to his bench, he stood next to Duncan again. Whether it was to impede Duncan’s play or get a whiff of his musk, McHale’s acts are somewhere between cheapass coach and creepy uncle.
Then there was Jason Kidd, who had no timeouts left in a close game and wanted to run a play. So he did what any asshole coach would do: he told one of his players to bump into him while he was holding a cup of water so it spilled over the floor, then tried to call a play while it was being cleaned up. He got fined and his team still lost, so it sure paid off! (Side note. It’s become the vogue thing to name scandals like this, so I’ve come up with a pretty good one: Watergate! Everyone likes putting -gate at the end of scandals, right?)
But the one most relevant to this blog, and the one that seems to be the getting the most attention, is Mike Tomlin’s dance move during Jacoby Jones’ kickoff return. And with most things, there is overreaction on both sides. So let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way, and then focus on what should be done about it.
What an asshole. (Source: Huffington Post)
Hey guys! We recorded our second podcast. You can find it at http://gredunzapress.com/lacesout/?p=13. In this episode, Ben and I talk about intriguing subjects such as the NFL playoff picture, live football, and why fans are dumb.
Programming note: Ben will have MMJF up tomorrow. So it will actually be Tuesday Morning Jerkface. Ben can be a jerk whatever day he wants!
I was supposed to be done with you, Geno, but you won’t let me go.
I declared this competition over a few weeks ago because EJ Manuel and Mike Glennon weren’t challenging Smith at all. And even though it was fun making fun of Geno’s bad play, his tendency to follow bad weeks with good ones made at least two columns a month a little boring. So I dusted off my photoshop skills, slapped Geno’s face on a toilet bowl, and I was going to leave it alone.
But then you had to do it again, Geno.
In his second game against Manuel and the Bills, Geno put on a performance so gruesome, so sad, that I couldn’t let it slide. I’m a fan of giving the people what they want, and as we watched his performance yesterday, the people were screaming “Encore! Encore!”
So here it is: your Shitty Rookie Quarterback Encore Piece. Continue reading
After the Cowboys’ 49-17 loss to the Saints, this is probably going to feel like piling on. But I think it needs to be said.
Earlier this year, when Jerry Jones fired Rob Ryan as defensive coordinator, I was pretty shocked. I looked at his defense, which was middling but plagued with injuries. It wasn’t the best defense in the world, but it definitely wasn’t the sole reason the Cowboys didn’t make the playoffs last year.
And so I wrote this article, where I bashed Jerry Jones and subtly bashed Rob Ryan (I didn’t mean it, Rob – luv u bby). My main problem then, as it is now, is that Jerry Jones picked Rob Ryan as the scapegoat because he felt he had to. He looked at his coach and figured he wasn’t ready to fire Garrett yet. And despite Romo throwing three interceptions in the division clinching loss to Washington, Jerry decided that Romo wasn’t the problem, and in fact was worth an enormous contract.
Money much better spent, obviously.
This weekend Ben and I recorded the first in what we hope to be a semi-regular podcast called Laces Out. We talked about the Miami Dolphins, Thursday Night Football, and revisit how horribly wrong our preseason predictions were. We also decide to talk about basketball because why not?
Take a listen!
Note: we recorded these before the games on Sunday morning, so when you hear us bash Tavon Austin, keep in mind he had not yet turned into a different player and scored three touchdowns.