Author Archives: Ben Van Iten

About Ben Van Iten

Ben decided that after guiding several Madden franchises to Super Bowl titles he now had the right to say whatever he wanted about football on the internet. His obsession with all things NFL is no longer cureable.

Haters Gon’ Hate: RG3 is a dick

One day we might look back and call this the end of his career.

One day we might look back and call this the end of his career.

I say a lot of things about football every week.

They range from predictions and analysis to mid play grunting. Like most people that talk about football, I tend to quickly forget about the things I was wrong about and forever cling to the things I was right about. And this week, the thing I’m taking pride in the most is a hypothesis of mine I had a few years ago: RG3 is a dick. Continue reading

1 Comment

Filed under Articles, Haters Gon' Hate

On Offensive Pass Interference

"Push Him Off" - a Taylor Swift/JImmy Graham collaboration!

“Push Him Off” – a Taylor Swift/Jimmy Graham collaboration!

I saw the flicker of orange out of the corner of my eye, and even if my brain couldn’t fully register what it was, I knew on a subconscious level. I knew not to even make a noise when Jimmy Graham came down with the football at the end of regulation in the Saints’ contest against the 49ers on Sunday. I knew it wasn’t going to count.

I wouldn’t call it bad officiating, per se. But I wouldn’t call it good officiating either. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Articles, Ramblings

Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Nine

You know what they say: we are born crying, live complaining, and die disappointed.

And by “they” I am referring to Jacksonville Jaguars and their fans. It’s in bold text above the team photo this year. They chant it at night while holding down rookies and newborn babies, before tattooing it on their backs.

This is Monday Morning Jerkface.

Manning turning this handshake into a clothesline would be a great heel turn.

Well I think we all know what the lead is here…

And it sure isn’t Blake Bortles vs. Andy Dalton. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Articles, MMJ

5 Trades That Should Have Happened (Or: Would Have Amused Us)

Gonna need a warmer coat than that!

Gonna need a warmer coat than that!

The NFL trade deadline has never been as exciting as its counterpart in MLB or the NBA, but usually SOMETHING happens.

Tuesday’s trade deadline saw no Herschel Walker trades, no franchise changing excitement, only under achieving safety Marc Barron going from the Buccaneers to the Rams. But, because we love lists and we love being hypothetical, here’s five trades that should have happened. And by should have happened I mean it would have amused us. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Articles, Lists!

Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Eight

The bruises. The fractures. The internal bleeding. The hospital trips. The unbearable pain.

It’s all worth it.

You would do anything to be a part of the team. You would do anything to help them prepare for next Sunday’s contest. Sneaking into practice dressed up like a tackling dummy is the least you could do.

This is Monday Morning Jerkface.

"So, what do you say we blow this?"

“So, what do you say we blow this?”

Bacon, Eggs, Toast and A HORRIFIC COLLAPSE

While much of America was eating breakfast on Sunday morning, the Falcons were perhaps putting the final nail in Mike Smith’s coffin. Or was it the other way around? Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Articles, MMJ