Author Archives: Ben Van Iten

About Ben Van Iten

Ben decided that after guiding several Madden franchises to Super Bowl titles he now had the right to say whatever he wanted about football on the internet. His obsession with all things NFL is no longer cureable.

Trolling a Troll: Colin Cowherd loves blackouts, hates fans

"I love blackouts! Almost as much as I love the Yankees, and Duke basketball."

“I love blackouts! Almost as much as I love the Yankees, and Duke basketball.”

Originally this feature was designed simply to pick apart the subpar logic and ludicrous analogies of Colin Cowherd, which I would be far more effective at if I listened to or watched him regularly. The reason why this is only the second one of these pieces is because most days I really can’t stomach his show. The other day, I happened across it by accident and was instantly filled with a burning rage that could only be satisfied by…well, blogging about it. That sounds so anticlimactic, doesn’t it? Continue reading

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Who Would Win in a Fight: Todd McShay vs. Mel Kiper Jr.

Round 1...FIGHT!

Round 1…FIGHT!

Ever since the draft ended, analysts have been rushing to grade each and every team on their each and every pick.

And hey, I get it. ESPN and the NFL Network are 24 hour enterprises, and people want to know how their team did. Most people would just go ahead and grade the drafts themselves but let’s be honest, you don’t actually know much about that free safety your team traded up to get in the fifth round, do you? And for the most part, neither do we!

So instead today I’m going to talk about something that is a little bit more my speed: deciding who would win in a fight between ESPN draft overlords Mel Kiper Jr. and Todd McShay! Yes, you’ve seen them hamming it up on TV, bickering like children. But what if they battled to the death?

Here’s the scouting report. Continue reading

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Five First Round Moves I Didn’t Understand

"Another offensive lineman? Christ."

“Another offensive lineman? Christ.”

I fully accept the fact that I don’t know as much about pro football as the scouts and general managers that make decisions on draft night.

Just the same, that doesn’t stop me from being a critical jackass! Despite the lack of star power and skill players, the first round of the 2013 NFL draft was quite interesting to me. One of the things that made it interesting was a multitude of moves that I did not understand, aka I thought they sucked. I have chronicled five of them here.

1. EJ Manuel was the first QB selected

Never mind the fact that Manuel was rated as the fourth best QB prospect  in the draft on a lot of the so called experts’ boards, new Bills coach Doug Marrone actually coached one of the other three prospects (Ryan Nassib) at Syracuse. Continue reading

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Super Bowl Winners March Madness Tournament: THE FINALS!

Gametime!

Gametime!

So, it has all come down to this. The rosters of twenty Super Bowl Championship teams have been kidnapped by our intergalactic time traveling bounty hunters (an unpaid position, by the way) and forced to compete. Some of these teams competed in a time before blogs, so imagine their confusion. The ’93 Cowboys never got over the fact that they were competing for the amusement of a bunch of nerds, and it visibly bothered them in the regional finals. In the end, two teams remain. Let’s do this! Continue reading

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An Argument With Myself: Geno Smith vs. Matt Barkley

Sometimes when Ben can’t find someone at the FBB offices to debate, he’ll start an argument with himself. This is one of those times.

Welcome to the start of our draft coverage! It isn’t as comprehensive as last year because let’s face it…this year’s class is full of lineman, and lineman are boring. But today we are going to talk about some quarterbacks.

While they don’t excite scouts as much as Andrew Luck and RGIII did, Geno Smith and Matt Barkley are the two biggest names in this year’s QB draft class. Geno seems to be a lock to be a first round pick, and the first quarterback taken, while Matt’s market seems to be more of a mystery. But today’s internal debate inside my mind is less about draft position, and more about who will have a better NFL career.

The case for Geno Smith

"Well, he's obviously a black guy" - excerpt from Nolan Nawrocki's scouting report

“Well, he’s obviously a black guy” – excerpt from Nolan Nawrocki’s scouting report

Being mobile at the QB position is more and more important in the modern day NFL. Last year’s draft class seemed to prove this point rather effectively.  I’m not talking only about the zone read and other such gimmicks, but lineman and linebackers are getting faster every year. Even Andrew Luck, someone not known as a runner, is a far better athlete than most realize. Geno Smith doesn’t have RGIII speed, but he is far more capable of making something happen when the play breaks down than Barkley. Continue reading

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