Category Archives: Articles

Arguing With Myself: The Jimmy Graham Trade

Some may know that Nate Raby is a devoted Saints fan. What you may not know is that he is absolutely insane and has arguments with himself on a consistent basis. Today he’s feeling particularly argumentative over the Jimmy Graham trade. Let’s meet our competitors:

On one side is Jimmy Graham Fan Nate (Jimmy Nate for short). He’s wearing a Graham jersey and is standing next to a goalpost that he will be periodically dunking on/breaking during the debate.

So like this, but less athletic (source: draftsharks.com)

So like this, but less athletic (source: draftsharks.com)

On the other side is Saints Fan Nate. He is wearing a polo with the Saints logo on it. He purchased it at an official team store for almost $100. That shows dedication (or just a lot of stupidity.)

Let’s begin! Continue reading

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The Disease That Killed the San Francisco 49ers

We gather here today to pay our respects to the dearly departed San Francisco 49er organization, which has collapsed under the weight of front office egos. The cause of death is long-term illness that attacked the franchise on all sides. This sort of sickness is unprecedented, so all we can do is break down the different ailments that the Niners have incurred in the past few months of this surprisingly quick-moving disease. Continue reading

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What City (‘s Retirement Community) Will Andre Johnson Go To?

As you may have heard, Andre Johnson and the Texans have reached a deal: the team will try to find a trade partner and barring that (you should definitely bar that, it will never happen), they will release him so he can go where he wants.

There are tons of cities that would be really happy to have a man of Andre Johnson’s wealth and stature. But not for their football team. Good Lord, no! He’s almost 80 in football years.

Below is a list of possible destinations for Andre based on their retirement communities and weather. Continue reading

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The Cleveland Slightly Darker Browns

http://www.clevelandbrowns.com/team/2015_Logos.html

dawg pound

The Experts at Footbawl Blog’s fresh take:

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Haters Gon’ Hate: Yeah yeah yeah Winston had a great combine BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT DUDE’S BEER BELLY?

Peter King says he’s an 80% chance to be the #1 pick. Bleacher Report says he’s blowing people away in interviews. His throwing was impeccable, and people can’t stop raving about how good he’s looked at the combine.

Oh hey that’s great ARE WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THAT HE SHOWED UP LOOKING LIKE HE’S AT A 40 YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION?

winston

Source: an official picture. Probably from a sports website.

THAT BELLY.

LOOK AT IT.

The weirdest part is that he reportedly LOST WEIGHT before this appearance. God knows how many crab legs he had scarfed down since his loss to Oregon.

Also weird is people are just dismissing the fact that he had one of the worst 40 yard dash performances we’ve ever seen from a skill player. I’VE RUN A 40 IN ALMOST THAT TIME AND I’M AS ATHLETIC AS A THREE-LEGGED PORCUPINE.

Look, I get that people overvalue measurables, and just because he runs slower than offensive linemen doesn’t mean he won’t be a good NFL quarterback. But we can’t just completely dismiss the bad stuff and rave about his interviews because he seems slightly apologetic for being an immature kid in college. We can’t just create whatever narrative makes us feel better. We need to take everything that happened this weekend and evaluate it together.

NOW LOOK AT THAT BELLY.

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