Category Archives: Haters Gon’ Hate

We take a look at a positive story, and then rip it to shreds cause man we hate that team

Even Seahawks Fans Are Just Fans. Get the Fuck Over Yourself.

When I read this letter from Sarah, I hadn’t actually even heard about what Cam Newton did with the 12th Man Flag, which I realize now is an impressive exhibition in rock-living. And in most of the things I’ve seen, Cam is criticized for it lightly. I mean, yes, it’s classless. And it’s a little egotistic, and disrespectful, and all of the things that we should associate with Cam Newton at this point after his five year career.

But my issue when reading this didn’t have anything to do with Cam. It has to do with this seething entitlement from fans that just makes my blood boil. I don’t think Seattle fans are special in these self-indulgent displays of annoyance, but they certainly seem to be one of the stronger flavors of awful fandom. So let me get this off my chest in the form of a missive to Seattle fans and all fans in general:

You’re just a fan. Get the fuck over yourself. Continue reading

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Coyotes and Roadrunners: The End of RG3 (AND THIS BLOG???)

After yesterday’s news that Kirk Cousins will lead the Redskins offense this season, effectively sounding the death knell for Robert Griffin III’s career in Washington, tons of emotions swirled around in my head.The most prevalent emotion was smug, unadulerated satisfaction and schadenfreude. But it was a little more complicated than that.

I’ve also been singing this song on repeat

Continue reading

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The Disease That Killed the San Francisco 49ers

We gather here today to pay our respects to the dearly departed San Francisco 49er organization, which has collapsed under the weight of front office egos. The cause of death is long-term illness that attacked the franchise on all sides. This sort of sickness is unprecedented, so all we can do is break down the different ailments that the Niners have incurred in the past few months of this surprisingly quick-moving disease. Continue reading

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Haters Gon’ Hate: Yeah yeah yeah Winston had a great combine BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT DUDE’S BEER BELLY?

Peter King says he’s an 80% chance to be the #1 pick. Bleacher Report says he’s blowing people away in interviews. His throwing was impeccable, and people can’t stop raving about how good he’s looked at the combine.

Oh hey that’s great ARE WE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THAT HE SHOWED UP LOOKING LIKE HE’S AT A 40 YEAR HIGH SCHOOL REUNION?

winston

Source: an official picture. Probably from a sports website.

THAT BELLY.

LOOK AT IT.

The weirdest part is that he reportedly LOST WEIGHT before this appearance. God knows how many crab legs he had scarfed down since his loss to Oregon.

Also weird is people are just dismissing the fact that he had one of the worst 40 yard dash performances we’ve ever seen from a skill player. I’VE RUN A 40 IN ALMOST THAT TIME AND I’M AS ATHLETIC AS A THREE-LEGGED PORCUPINE.

Look, I get that people overvalue measurables, and just because he runs slower than offensive linemen doesn’t mean he won’t be a good NFL quarterback. But we can’t just completely dismiss the bad stuff and rave about his interviews because he seems slightly apologetic for being an immature kid in college. We can’t just create whatever narrative makes us feel better. We need to take everything that happened this weekend and evaluate it together.

NOW LOOK AT THAT BELLY.

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Haters Gon’ Hate: RG3 is a dick

One day we might look back and call this the end of his career.

One day we might look back and call this the end of his career.

I say a lot of things about football every week.

They range from predictions and analysis to mid play grunting. Like most people that talk about football, I tend to quickly forget about the things I was wrong about and forever cling to the things I was right about. And this week, the thing I’m taking pride in the most is a hypothesis of mine I had a few years ago: RG3 is a dick. Continue reading

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