So a few weeks ago I wrote about how I hate the offseason, and it wasn’t a very productive piece. All it did was complain and made me feel worse for writing it. And worst of all, the season isn’t getting here any quicker.
But after spending some time watching replays of every Super Bowl for the last 10 years and crying into a sock, I realized I could do something productive with my hatred of the offseason. I could do my favorite thing: rant!
So here it is, the semi-regular feature of the offseason, where I go to ESPN’s NFL newsfeed, read the articles, and think, “Why the fuck is this news? I can’t wait until these are all scores, highlights, and the occasional Pacman Jones DUI.” Continue reading
I love you, internet.
Happy Friday, haters!
Disastrous divisional round losses that make you want to hang yourself aside; NFL fans have to feel pumped for Sunday’s games. The season comes down to four of the best teams in the league, with a trip to the Super Bowl hanging in the balance. It’s going to be compelling television with several promising storylines taking center stage. Can Brady get to a sixth Super Bowl? How many bad coaching decisions can Mike Smith make in a single thirty second window? But if you aren’t familiar with this feature’s gimmick, we are about to shit all over your cheerios.
While the teams that are left are top notch, the same can’t be said for the announcers calling the games. They might not be the most unbearable on their respective networks (let’s all say a silent thank you for a Siragusa free Sunday – someone make that a hashtag) but it’s pretty bad. We here at the Footbawl Blog like to encourage intelligent hate, so below you will find a thoughtful and articulate list of reasons why you should actively dislike both announce crews. Continue reading
“Hey nice sack…BUT DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE GODDAMN TWITTER FEED!”
Welcome to “Haters Gon’ Hate”, our newest feature!
The concept is simple: we find something out there that is positive about a player or team that one of us isn’t crazy about, and we take a great big dump all over it! If you have any desire to contribute, we are definitely accepting guest pieces for this feature. If you are a diehard Ravens fan and want to talk shit about Ben Roethlisberger visiting sick kids in the hospital because you think he’s actually just scoping out some hot nurse ass? Send your piece to firstname.lastname@example.org!
Today the target of my scorn is the twitter feed of Dallas Cowboys stud linebacker/defensive end, DeMarcus Ware. Continue reading