Category Archives: Lists!

Football fans are obsessed with lists. We are no different.

Fuck It, It’s Friday: Here’s Some Pictures of People Wearing Other Offensive Jerseys

Some guys will go to such lengths to not wear a Joe Flacco jersey

Some guys will go to such lengths to not wear a Joe Flacco jersey

Look at those Ravens fans, flocking to the stadium in their Ray Rice jerseys. It was expected, of course, because as much as we try, some people just love to do things for shock value. And if that’s your thing, cool, I guess. I might find you to be scum of the earth, but that’s probably the reaction you want, so rock on.

Seeing those Rice jerseys at the game last night brought to mind some of the most offensive jerseys I’ve seen. If you’re a battered woman, a dog that’s been electrocuted, or really anyone who is decent, this list probably won’t make you happy. Sorry!

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How do you honor a guy who conspired to commit his pregnant girlfriend, promise not to flee the state if the baby died, then tried to anyway? Obviously by wearing his jersey while you yell at the clerk for forgetting the extra peppers on your nachos!

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Double whammy!

What do you get when you cross a wife-stabber and a dog-killer? I don’t know how to end this joke, but it’s horrifying!

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Obviously this guy was trading in the jersey, but did you really have to wear it there, dude? Bonus article: Aaron Hernandez jerseys are collector’s items. I love our country!

Brace yourself, because these jerseys are about to get worse…

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This guy also wishes he could go back to college

God, I can’t even take it.

Gag

Gag

It’s so offensive.

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OKAY OKAY I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE. FUCK IT, IT’S FRIDAY, AND I’M GOING TO THROW UP NOW

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Things Could be Worse: At Least You’re Not Ryan Leaf!

If Peyton Manning was passed up on for the #1 pick that year, this would have happened to him for sure

If Peyton Manning was passed up on for the #1 pick that year, this would have happened to him for sure

Week 1 of the NFL schedule saw a lot teams, players, coaches, and executives triumph in the face of adversity! Whoo!

Unfortunately, it also saw an equal amount of them fail miserably. They let down their friends, family, fantasy owners, fans, but most of all themselves. But we here at The Footbawl Blog have an inspirational message for those that failed. Things could always be worse. They could always be so much worse.

You could be Ryan Leaf. Continue reading

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Fantasy: Top 10 WRs I’d Kick in the Nuts if I Saw Them in the Club and it’s Dark and I Knew I’d Get Away With It

James Jones, pictured here, has no idea you're about to kick him right in the dick.

James Jones, pictured here, has no idea you’re about to kick him right in the dick.

It’s Fantasy Football time and we here at the Footbawl Blog have you covered if you’re looking for fantastical analysis before the season kicks off. Whether you have yet to draft or if you’re looking to make a big trade, we’ve compiled just the list to help make those tough decisions! Make sure you check out the top wide receivers picked by our experts and find out why these guys should get their dicks kicked! Continue reading

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The Footbawl Blog’s Third Annual Preseason Awards!

 

Due to budget concerns we stole this non football related trophy from a child to give to our winners.

Due to budget concerns we stole non football related trophies from children to give to our winners.

We can still barely believe it, but the football season is almost upon us. We’ve spent the summer naked, rummaging through forests and eating small bugs, but it’s all been worth it as we roll into September. As we gear up for another year full of jerkfaces, trials, and every team sucking, it’s time to start it with our third annual Preseason Awards! Some are serious, some are crazy, and some are just plain stupid. Women with pregnancies should consult their doctor before reading.

All right, let’s get to it! Continue reading

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Ridiculous Lists: The Top Five Most Bullshit Headlines on NFL.com This Morning

One of the headlines involves this guy. CRAZY RIGHT!?! (photo credit: NFL.com)

One of the headlines involves this guy. CRAZY RIGHT!?! (photo credit: NFL.com)

Why hello again!

Between other writing projects, summer plans, and almost crippling bouts of laziness…I haven’t written for this site in a while. But as the haunting and shitty specter of the offseason begins to slowly dissipate, I figured it was time to get my ass back in gear. That being said, I still had no idea what to write about. I haven’t kept as close of tabs on everything during this offseason as I have the last few prior. When these things happen, I often go to NFL.com to get a general idea of some of the big headlines.

There was really nothing of note, almost to a hilarious extent.

It is with that in mind that I give you the top five most ridiculous stupid bullshit headlines on NFL.com this morning. Continue reading

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