Category Archives: Lists!

Football fans are obsessed with lists. We are no different.

Ridiculous Lists: The Top Five Most Bullshit Headlines on NFL.com This Morning

One of the headlines involves this guy. CRAZY RIGHT!?! (photo credit: NFL.com)

One of the headlines involves this guy. CRAZY RIGHT!?! (photo credit: NFL.com)

Why hello again!

Between other writing projects, summer plans, and almost crippling bouts of laziness…I haven’t written for this site in a while. But as the haunting and shitty specter of the offseason begins to slowly dissipate, I figured it was time to get my ass back in gear. That being said, I still had no idea what to write about. I haven’t kept as close of tabs on everything during this offseason as I have the last few prior. When these things happen, I often go to NFL.com to get a general idea of some of the big headlines.

There was really nothing of note, almost to a hilarious extent.

It is with that in mind that I give you the top five most ridiculous stupid bullshit headlines on NFL.com this morning. Continue reading

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Who Should Draft Johnny Football?

"Sometimes I just like to close my eyes and imagine how rich I'll be."

“Sometimes I just like to close my eyes and imagine how rich I’ll be.”

During my youth, the NBA draft was a pretty big deal.

A lot of the big time players I had gotten a chance to watch in college for three of four years and there was the idea that all it took was one player to turn a franchise around. These days, the more valued prospects are often one and done college players who have not yet even begun to show what they can do. The Major League Baseball draft has a thousand rounds and literally no one outside of a front office has any idea how it works.

While other sports’ drafts have either gotten less exciting or stayed in obscurity, the NFL draft has gained more and more momentum over the years. For the last few seasons the first few rounds have been moved to prime time, and we will get the first mock draft for 2015 about twenty minutes about the 2014 one ends.

While you have most likely gotten familiar with several players at several positions over the last few months, there is one name that eclipses every one: I am speaking, of course, of Johnny Football. The first ever freshman Heisman Trophy winner has been called everything from undersized and overrated to a can’t miss future hall of famer.

Several teams have been rumored to draft Manziel, and to help the teams in the top ten I have provided a pro and a con for each of them to consider when mulling over taking this controversial player. Continue reading

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Cross Country Round Table: Super Bowl Predictions

Every so often the staff of the Footbawl Blog likes to sit around a metaphorical round table and shoot the shit about a particular issue. Today they are only discussing WHO IS GOING TO WIN THE GODDAMN SUPER BOWL.

The Super Bowl is only a few days away, and it is our duty as people who talk about football to pretend that we know what will happen in a game that will feature over fifty grown men and a million variables. And here’s the crazy thing: we’re all right. If the universe is infinite, then it would stand to reason that all of these things have already happened and will happen again. Good luck explaining that to your bookie though. That guy hates science.

"Dude thinks I'm the key to the game? The fuck?"

“Dude thinks I’m the key to the game? The fuck?”

Chris

It’s obvious that the Seahawks would really prefer this to be a battle in the trenches, just minus the pesky mustard gas. If it is, there’s little chance they don’t take home the title. Continue reading

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Reckless Gambling: Super Bowl Prop Bets

I love the smell of money wasted on ridiculous bets in the morning.

I love the smell of money wasted on ridiculous bets in the morning.

A few months back while playing poker at a friend’s place, we had a 90’s music station on in the background. The rest of the degenerates and I proceeded to bet on what the next song played would be, while at the same time wagering money on the poker game itself. The point I’m making is that if you want to gamble, you can do so on pretty much anything.

Enter the gambling gateway drug: the Super Bowl! Continue reading

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I Know Who is Going to the Super Bowl! (SPOILERS INSIDE!)

Championship Sunday is upon us, and as it turns out the four teams left are the four teams that Vegas predicted had the best chance of winning the Super Bowl at the start of the season.

This of course causes the dumbest person you know to rant on Facebook about how the NFL made it so. When you press these people on how exactly the league could have fixed virtually every regular season and playoff game, and included literally thousands of people on this conspiracy without a single one of them or their families talking about it, well…you usually get unfriended. So it goes.

Let’s predict stuff.

Last week: 3-1

Overall: 4-4

Mood: Wrong, but pretty

"Hey Peyton, gonna let me call any plays today? No? Oh, okay."

“Hey Peyton, gonna let me call any plays today? No? Oh, okay.”

AFC Championship Game: Patriots at Broncos

While the second game of the day promises to be closer on paper, I have done more flip flopping on this one. Continue reading

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