Category Archives: Lists!

Football fans are obsessed with lists. We are no different.

by | April 26, 2013 · 10:20 am

Five First Round Moves I Didn’t Understand

"Another offensive lineman? Christ."

“Another offensive lineman? Christ.”

I fully accept the fact that I don’t know as much about pro football as the scouts and general managers that make decisions on draft night.

Just the same, that doesn’t stop me from being a critical jackass! Despite the lack of star power and skill players, the first round of the 2013 NFL draft was quite interesting to me. One of the things that made it interesting was a multitude of moves that I did not understand, aka I thought they sucked. I have chronicled five of them here.

1. EJ Manuel was the first QB selected

Never mind the fact that Manuel was rated as the fourth best QB prospect  in the draft on a lot of the so called experts’ boards, new Bills coach Doug Marrone actually coached one of the other three prospects (Ryan Nassib) at Syracuse. Continue reading →

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by | February 22, 2013 · 11:00 am

Five NFL Twitter Feuds I’d Like to See

This isn’t the best time of the year to be an NFL fan.

It isn’t even the best part of the offseason. Eventually there will be big name free agent signings, and you won’t be able to turn on the TV without being pelted in the ears with mock drafts. But none of that is happening right now. What we are dealing with right now is the equivalent of some tumbleweed slowly drifting across a prairie.

This is why I was so stoked about the twitter feud between Darrelle Revis and Richard Sherman!  With what seemed like minimal provocation, Revis unleashed on his Seattle contemporary for yapping “like a girl” and Sherman immediately backed down. Just kidding! He went to Kevin Garnett’s fake tough guy school, so it went on for a while. If you’ve been following this site, you might know about my love of twitter feuds. With that in mind, here are five battles I’d like to see immediately. Continue reading →

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by | February 8, 2013 · 10:24 am

32 Things I Was Wrong About This Season

People that write about sports take great pride in recalling things they were right about, and I am no exception. When I was the only person on the entire internet to predict that the Ravens would win in Denver*, I strutted around like I had been dipped in awesome sauce. But that is not what this post is about. Instead, today I’d like to point out one thing that I got wrong about every single team in the NFL.

(* = not verified)

So sit down, stay a while, and bask in my wrongness!

"This is dedicated to all the haters on the Footbawl blog!"

“This is dedicated to all the haters on the Footbawl Blog!”

Baltimore Ravens: An easy one word answer here…Flacco.

Cleveland Browns: During the build-up to the NFL draft I went out of my way to make a point that Trent Richardson was not going to be a quality NFL running back. As it turns out, he ended up being a shit stomping mega beast and the brightest part of another subpar Browns season. Continue reading →

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by | January 31, 2013 · 11:32 am

Guest Post: In My Dreams (Super Bowl Halftime Shows That Could Have Been)

It is our pleasure to feature a piece by Giovanny Caquias, whose Yankee fandom I usually excuse in light of his sharp wit, vast music knowledge, and okay he actually lives in New York. Giovanny writes about all things music for Culture Blues, a site I would highly reccomend losing yourself in for a while.

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I hate you, Jay-Z.

I hate you, Jay-Z.

As the football-loving world focuses its attention on the exquisitely splendid city that is New Orleans, and the gambling-loving world tries to determine which Harbaugh brother will get the most air-time during the upcoming Super Bowl, I find myself feeling somewhat empty. Don’t get me wrong; I adore the brutal and enthralling game which some call “football”, and others call “handegg”, but ever since I learned the man who coaches the team I follow is the proud bearer of a tattoo depicting his wife wearing a Mark Sanchez jersey, I’ve lost some of my passion for the gridiron. Take it from me, you should thank your deity, or your liquor bottle, that you didn’t end up a Jets fan.

Once I realized I had no real dog in the upcoming Super Bowl fight (though I’d really hate to see what Ray Lewis will do if he actually wins this game), I needed to figure out a way to keep myself interested in the game. Well, a reason other than the several grand I bet on Randy Moss doing something asinine before kick off (my time is running out!). Then, while writing about Beyonce’s lyp-synching inauguration fiasco last week (for a different web portal) it all hit me… the halftime show!!! Continue reading →

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by | January 20, 2013 · 1:22 pm

Conference Championship Predictions! (SPOILERS INSIDE BEN KNOWS EVERYTHING)

It is the last Sunday of the season with more than one football game, which naturally brings up a lot of emotions.

Actual photo of my wall

Actual photo of my wall

Of course on one hand I’m bummed because I don’t even remember what I do on Sundays when it is not football season, but on the other hand I’m stoked because it’s usually an awesome day. See, I’m a pretty complex person. Let’s take a look at how I’m doing so far.

Last Week: 4-0

Overall (for the playoffs): 6-2

Mood: Sexy, accurate.

Alright, time to predict some stuff. Continue reading →

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