Category Archives: MMJ

Morning Morning Jerkface is Ben’s weekly over-reaction piece.

Monday Morning Jerkface: Super Bowl Edition!

"In your face, Wilson" - God

“In your face, Wilson” – God

You peer over your laptop at the last few guests left at the Super Bowl party.

“Well, that was a fun season,” you overheard someone say, as they packed up their chips and dip.

“Was?” you ask.

“Well yeah, it’s over.”

“IT’S NEVER OVER!” you scream, and turn your laptop towards the frightened guests.

“What’s that?” Bob manages to utter.

“IT’S THE NAMES AND MEASUREABLES OF EVERYONE THAT WILL BE AT THE COMBINE! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! IT NEVER ENDS! PRAISE BE TO GOODELL!”

“Uh…”

“I THINK THE BENGALS ARE GOING TO GO LINEBACKER IN THE FOURTH ROUND!”

The guests are running now. Maybe they are getting in line for the combine early?

This is Monday Morning Jerkface. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Wildcard Edition

“I have a bye,” you say into your phone.

“What are you talking about?” your boss replies.

“I have done my job so well all year that I get a bye this week.”

“Get into work right no…”

The call drops. Must have been a bad connection.

This is Monday Morning Jerkface.

...ugh

…ugh

What will now be known as “the pick-up game”

When a playoff game earns a nickname, it is usually good for the league. It usually means that the end of the game had a play so exciting that it earned a place in the hearts and minds of football fans forever.

This is not one of those times. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Seventeen

Photocredit: BENSNIGHTMARES.COM (Okay it's actually espn.com)

Photocredit: BENSNIGHTMARES.COM
(Okay it’s actually espn.com)

With a great heave, you dump the Gatorade upon the coach.

“WE DID IT! WE WON THE DIVISION!” you scream.

Why is the coach running away from you and swearing? Why are you in the Walgreens parking lot? On second thought, that might not be a coach at all. That might be John, the soft spoken young man that works at the car dealership.

This is Monday Morning Jerkface. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Sixteen

"Take care of this. It's my favorite of all of the footballs."

“Take care of this. It’s my favorite of all of the footballs.”

Your friends and family are distraught. They stand over your grave, their faces full of tears and memories. The tombstone reads:

“Whenever he would yell ‘WATCH THE SCREEN!’ before the play, it was usually a screen pass. So good for him.”

This is Monday Morning Jerkface. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Fifteen

This is the exact look I had on my face during this play as well

This is the exact look I had on my face during this play as well

“Let’s try Z-44 Roger Split Left here, I think the safety will be cheating a little,” you say into the headset. The QB doesn’t answer, because by this point in both of your careers you are on the same page.

Another explanation for his silence is you are sitting at home watching the game on TV, and that headset isn’t plugged into anything.

This is Monday Morning Jerkface. Continue reading

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