Category Archives: MMJ

Morning Morning Jerkface is Ben’s weekly over-reaction piece.

Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Fifteen

This is the exact look I had on my face during this play as well

This is the exact look I had on my face during this play as well

“Let’s try Z-44 Roger Split Left here, I think the safety will be cheating a little,” you say into the headset. The QB doesn’t answer, because by this point in both of your careers you are on the same page.

Another explanation for his silence is you are sitting at home watching the game on TV, and that headset isn’t plugged into anything.

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Fourteen

They say “if you hate storm and strife, lead a bachelor’s life” – and that makes sense. Perhaps some of the ups and downs of a committed relationship are too much for you. But what if you’ve fallen in love? What then?

What if you’re standing on the steps of the court house, screaming, at the top of your lungs, “I WILL MARRY THE ST. LOUIS RAMS AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! OUR LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL AND OUR DEFENSIVE LINE IS REALLY COMING TOGETHER DOWN THE STRETCH!”

What then?

This is Monday Morning Jerkface.

"Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh..."

“Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh…”

A Ten Point Blowout?

If you didn’t watch any of the Seahawks/Eagles game yesterday and simply saw the final score, you might have made the inference that was it was a reasonably close game. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Thirteen

There is no creepy intro this week, as that Packer victory filled me with too much glee to be my normal disturbing self!

‘Tis the season…for hilarious F Bombs

Immediately after Aaron Rodgers had hit Randall Cobb for the game clinching first down, the cameras went to the sidelines, as they often do, for the opposing quarterback’s reaction. We were not disappointed at the results.

Patriot haters everywhere had a good chuckle and Moms everywhere were concerned that the handsome quarterback man said a bad word. But, more importantly, the Packers had won the match-up between the two best teams (according to the NFL.com power rankings) in football. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Twelve

The hole was open for two seconds before 18 Seahawks defenders tackled him in unision

The hole was open for two seconds before 18 Seahawks defenders tackled him in unision

“Father, please forgive me…for I have sinned,” you softly say to the unseen man on the other side of the divider. “It has been a month since my last confession.”

“We have all sinned in the eyes of God,” he responds.

“With a little under three minutes left and up by three, my opponent has no timeouts. I decided to get cute and call a few pass plays. They were incomplete and the other team won in the closing moments…”

Suddenly the divider slides open and on the other side is an angry man.

“YOU’RE GOING TO BURN IN HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY!” the priest screams.

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Eleven

The phone rings a second time. A third. You wait for him to pick up, but with every ring it’s clearer and clearer he won’t.

“Pick up, pick up,” you plead softly anyway, your voice rising above a whisper. “Please, come on.”

But after a few more rings, the answering machine picks up. You sigh, hang up, and try to call again, but the officer jams his thumb on the switch.

“You’re done,” the guard mutters.

“Can I call one more time?”

“You only get one call, and you’ve tried six times. Don’t you have anyone else you can call?”

You shake your head slowly and he leads you back to the holding cell. As you shuffle back to confinement, you can only say the same words over and over.

“Why won’t you pick up, Matt Stafford? Why are you letting me down?”

This is Monday Morning  Jerkface.

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Hail to the God this joke is awful Continue reading

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