Category Archives: MMJ

Morning Morning Jerkface is Ben’s weekly over-reaction piece.

Monday Morning Jerkface: Wildcard Edition

“I have a bye,” you say into your phone.

“What are you talking about?” your boss replies.

“I have done my job so well all year that I get a bye this week.”

“Get into work right no…”

The call drops. Must have been a bad connection.

This is Monday Morning Jerkface.

...ugh

…ugh

What will now be known as “the pick-up game”

When a playoff game earns a nickname, it is usually good for the league. It usually means that the end of the game had a play so exciting that it earned a place in the hearts and minds of football fans forever.

This is not one of those times. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Seventeen

Photocredit: BENSNIGHTMARES.COM (Okay it's actually espn.com)

Photocredit: BENSNIGHTMARES.COM
(Okay it’s actually espn.com)

With a great heave, you dump the Gatorade upon the coach.

“WE DID IT! WE WON THE DIVISION!” you scream.

Why is the coach running away from you and swearing? Why are you in the Walgreens parking lot? On second thought, that might not be a coach at all. That might be John, the soft spoken young man that works at the car dealership.

This is Monday Morning Jerkface. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Sixteen

"Take care of this. It's my favorite of all of the footballs."

“Take care of this. It’s my favorite of all of the footballs.”

Your friends and family are distraught. They stand over your grave, their faces full of tears and memories. The tombstone reads:

“Whenever he would yell ‘WATCH THE SCREEN!’ before the play, it was usually a screen pass. So good for him.”

This is Monday Morning Jerkface. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Fifteen

This is the exact look I had on my face during this play as well

This is the exact look I had on my face during this play as well

“Let’s try Z-44 Roger Split Left here, I think the safety will be cheating a little,” you say into the headset. The QB doesn’t answer, because by this point in both of your careers you are on the same page.

Another explanation for his silence is you are sitting at home watching the game on TV, and that headset isn’t plugged into anything.

This is Monday Morning Jerkface. Continue reading

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Monday Morning Jerkface: Week Fourteen

They say “if you hate storm and strife, lead a bachelor’s life” – and that makes sense. Perhaps some of the ups and downs of a committed relationship are too much for you. But what if you’ve fallen in love? What then?

What if you’re standing on the steps of the court house, screaming, at the top of your lungs, “I WILL MARRY THE ST. LOUIS RAMS AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! OUR LOVE IS BEAUTIFUL AND OUR DEFENSIVE LINE IS REALLY COMING TOGETHER DOWN THE STRETCH!”

What then?

This is Monday Morning Jerkface.

"Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh..."

“Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh…”

A Ten Point Blowout?

If you didn’t watch any of the Seahawks/Eagles game yesterday and simply saw the final score, you might have made the inference that was it was a reasonably close game. Continue reading

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