Category Archives: Ramblings

Because “random rant about the Broncos alternate jerseys” can’t be its own category

Coyotes and Roadrunners: The End of RG3 (AND THIS BLOG???)

After yesterday’s news that Kirk Cousins will lead the Redskins offense this season, effectively sounding the death knell for Robert Griffin III’s career in Washington, tons of emotions swirled around in my head.The most prevalent emotion was smug, unadulerated satisfaction and schadenfreude. But it was a little more complicated than that.

I’ve also been singing this song on repeat

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TV Characters react to RG3’s latest proclamation

rg3

Winger’s more of a Wilson fan

Yeah, yeah, this is lazy, and usually I’d be fine with quarterbacks saying this, but…come on. It’s RG3. He never plays. I am pretty happy with my abilities as a sysadmin, but I’m not proclaiming myself to be the best ever because there’s plenty of evidence to the contrary. I know he responds to these questions, but we’ve come far along now that he should know to just not answer. It just causes us to…

Plus, come on. We all know who the best quarterback in the NFL is: Joe Flacco!

Just kidding, Wee Bey. He sucks.

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Arguing With Myself: The Jimmy Graham Trade

Some may know that Nate Raby is a devoted Saints fan. What you may not know is that he is absolutely insane and has arguments with himself on a consistent basis. Today he’s feeling particularly argumentative over the Jimmy Graham trade. Let’s meet our competitors:

On one side is Jimmy Graham Fan Nate (Jimmy Nate for short). He’s wearing a Graham jersey and is standing next to a goalpost that he will be periodically dunking on/breaking during the debate.

So like this, but less athletic (source: draftsharks.com)

So like this, but less athletic (source: draftsharks.com)

On the other side is Saints Fan Nate. He is wearing a polo with the Saints logo on it. He purchased it at an official team store for almost $100. That shows dedication (or just a lot of stupidity.)

Let’s begin! Continue reading

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The Disease That Killed the San Francisco 49ers

We gather here today to pay our respects to the dearly departed San Francisco 49er organization, which has collapsed under the weight of front office egos. The cause of death is long-term illness that attacked the franchise on all sides. This sort of sickness is unprecedented, so all we can do is break down the different ailments that the Niners have incurred in the past few months of this surprisingly quick-moving disease. Continue reading

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What City (‘s Retirement Community) Will Andre Johnson Go To?

As you may have heard, Andre Johnson and the Texans have reached a deal: the team will try to find a trade partner and barring that (you should definitely bar that, it will never happen), they will release him so he can go where he wants.

There are tons of cities that would be really happy to have a man of Andre Johnson’s wealth and stature. But not for their football team. Good Lord, no! He’s almost 80 in football years.

Below is a list of possible destinations for Andre based on their retirement communities and weather. Continue reading

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