Category Archives: Ramblings

Because “random rant about the Broncos alternate jerseys” can’t be its own category

RIP in Peace Joe Philbin

Joe Philbin’s head coaching career died today at the age of 52 games. It was a young career, but this death was expected and earned. Most people figured the Dolphins should be better by now, and by all accounts they’re right: they have offensive and defensive talent. They just need it to be molded together, and apparently Joe Philbin never owned Playdoh as a kid.

Well that’s weird.

Philbin presumably will find an offensive job somewhere in the league, where he can hopefully be lucky enough to coach a HOF prospect QB again and ride him to another coaching gig. As for the Dolphins, it’s early enough in the season that this could be a spark plug move for them. Maybe someone will come in and tell Tannehill, “Hey, that Jarvis Landry kid is good. Throw him the ball.”

And because I’m nothing if not a snarky asshole who loves to be right, I’ll end on this:

Being right is my antidrug

Being right is my antidrug

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Draft Kings Week 4 Lines Presented by Draft Kings With a Brief Commercial Break Featuring Draft Kings Sponsored by Draft Kings

Hey guys! I know I’m not usually the one to talk about gambling sponsored by Draft Kings on the site, but after getting a call from these scary guys in suits, I decided to give it a whirl! I just wanted to say before we get started that this blog post is sponsored by Draft Kings, the best one-week fantasy website! Use Draft Kings! Go to!

Okay, now we’re going to take a few lines powered by Draft Kings and I’ll tell you which team to pick. Continue reading

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Delayed Reaction: The Five Stages of NFC Title Game Grief

Sigh (photo credit: ESPN)

Sigh (photo credit: ESPN)

If you’ve been paying attention these last eight months or so, you might have noticed that I haven’t been contributing much to this website. I could try to make excuses for this that painted me like a healthy and well-adjusted person.

For instance: I have a job, a girlfriend, hobbies, etc.

But beneath those feeble attempts to justify my absence, lies something darker and much more pathetic. The NFC title game depressed the shit out of me. No, really, a football game actually made me depressed. I’m an adult, and that happened. Before I started writing this piece I thought I was totally over the game, but when I found the above picture I actually felt waves of sadness washing over me like ocean water on a rock…eroding my soul. Dramatic, huh? Continue reading

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Coyotes and Roadrunners: The End of RG3 (AND THIS BLOG???)

After yesterday’s news that Kirk Cousins will lead the Redskins offense this season, effectively sounding the death knell for Robert Griffin III’s career in Washington, tons of emotions swirled around in my head.The most prevalent emotion was smug, unadulerated satisfaction and schadenfreude. But it was a little more complicated than that.

I’ve also been singing this song on repeat

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TV Characters react to RG3’s latest proclamation


Winger’s more of a Wilson fan

Yeah, yeah, this is lazy, and usually I’d be fine with quarterbacks saying this, but…come on. It’s RG3. He never plays. I am pretty happy with my abilities as a sysadmin, but I’m not proclaiming myself to be the best ever because there’s plenty of evidence to the contrary. I know he responds to these questions, but we’ve come far along now that he should know to just not answer. It just causes us to…

Plus, come on. We all know who the best quarterback in the NFL is: Joe Flacco!

Just kidding, Wee Bey. He sucks.

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