Category Archives: Ramblings

Because “random rant about the Broncos alternate jerseys” can’t be its own category

Not to Defend Adrian Peterson, but the NFL Has NO IDEA How To Punish People

Hoo boy, this is fun.

Hoo boy, this is fun.

So today the call came down from NFL’s Mount Olympus: Adrian Peterson is suspended for the year. Here’s my quick take on this.

  • Adrian Peterson can miss the whole year, and that doesn’t bother me at all. He was arrested for abusing his kid, and he never came out and apologized sincerely for his actions. He still thinks it’s fine to take a tree branch and whip his kid, and that’s ridiculous. So yeah, he can miss the year and I don’t think that’s too harsh. BUT…
  • The NFL has NO IDEA what they’re doing. Literally. Goodell is this dog.
    Note the NFL logo. We clearly put some work into these pictures.

    Note the logo. We clearly put some work into these pictures.

    If the NFLPA is right, and Peterson was told his time on the Commissioner’s list would be considered as time served, then the NFL still has a problem punishing people. The best thing to do in these cases is to have a policy and stick with it. You can’t afford to show inconsistency, or have your punishments appear arbitrary. Unfortunately, it’s impossible for the NFL to do that because they are literally flying by on the seat of their pants. It’s like when a cheating husband comes home and is asked where he was, and he keeps throwing out answers that the wife won’t accept. The story keeps changing in a desperate, panicked attempt to provide an answer that won’t get them burned at the stake. But the bad news for the NFL is the media for once isn’t buying their bullshit, and with every slipup, another torch gets lit.

  • There will be a battle between Goodell and the NFLPA, and there is literally no way for the NFL to look good. Either he upholds the ruling and everyone knows that the punishment was reactionary and arbitrary, or he folds to the pressure and shows once again that the NFL cares more about media and fan reaction than putting forth a consistent product. The NFL is that high school girl that needs a makeover, and we’re not just talking about the movie makeover where they take off her glasses and put her hair down.
  • No one gives a shit if you picked Peterson up in your fantasy team and now you’re sad. Seriously.

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Jimmy Graham Doesn’t Like Getting Groped on TD Celebrations, and We Have a Solution!

You may have heard Saints tight end Jimmy Graham went into the stands after a touchdown last Sunday, and one of the Black and Gold faithful got a little…friendly with him.

Naturally that bothered Jimmy, and so he plans on never jumping into the Superdome stands again. And we love Jimmy (even though he’s a Bond villain), but I think he’s being a little dramatic here. But no fear, Jimmy: we here at the Footbawl Blog have developed a legal uniform add-on that will allow you to score and mingle with your fans in peace!

VOILA! (Credit to Leon P)

VOILA!
(Credit to Leon P)

Just be sure to thank us in your postgame, buddy.

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Free Agent Receivers: Pay Them, Test Free Agency, or Fire Them Into the Sun With a Cannon?

Wide receiver is one of the most glamorous positions in football, and so it’s obvious that receivers get a lot of attention, particularly those whose contracts are running out. And all you need to do is look at the Carolina Panthers or New York Jets to realize how important the position is to success. This offseason, there will be a lot of receivers looking to get a big payday. So we’re going to look at a few names and decide whether they deserve to get paid by their team, allowed to test free agency, or fired into the sun by a cannon. Continue reading

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On Offensive Pass Interference

"Push Him Off" - a Taylor Swift/JImmy Graham collaboration!

“Push Him Off” – a Taylor Swift/Jimmy Graham collaboration!

I saw the flicker of orange out of the corner of my eye, and even if my brain couldn’t fully register what it was, I knew on a subconscious level. I knew not to even make a noise when Jimmy Graham came down with the football at the end of regulation in the Saints’ contest against the 49ers on Sunday. I knew it wasn’t going to count.

I wouldn’t call it bad officiating, per se. But I wouldn’t call it good officiating either. Continue reading

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Benching Fitzpatrick for Mallett? BUT HE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE A BEARD!

Bill O’Brien has gone too far.

I’m sure a lot of Texans fans are happy with him so far. He’s compiled a 4-5 record, double the wins of last season. And the team has much more fight this year. However, this week he’s done something that I think will mar his tenure as Texans coach.

He benched the beard.

Sure, Ryan Fitzpatrick had performed poorly in the past two games. And it may be time to see what you have in Ryan Mallett. But from nearly every standpoint, it doesn’t make sense. I mean, look at this guy!

UGH.

UGH.

Is this the kind of face you want running your football team? For God’s sakes, WHERE’S HIS BEARD? Continue reading

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