Category Archives: Ramblings

Because “random rant about the Broncos alternate jerseys” can’t be its own category

The REAL and NOT FAKE AT ALL Story of RG3’s Day After Quitting Twitter

"But I'll keep snapchat...just 'cause."

“But I’ll keep snapchat…just ’cause.”

Hey, guys, it’s me, RG3. I’m writing through this blog to let you know that I’m quitting social media for now. I didn’t like the way people criticized me for my poor play.  It was unfair for people to just attack me through social media like that. And I thought that was that, you know? I could go about my business, throw a billion interceptions, and not have to hear about it.

But then it got worse. Continue reading

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Cam Newton Is an Asshole In Football, But That Doesn’t Mean You Should Be One In Real Life

Nate is a loyal Saints fan, and has been ever since he was wearing an Aints bag on his head in Dome games in the early 90s. Every once in a while, though, he needs to disagree with a majority of the Who Dat Nation when they hold ridiculous opinions, like the opinion that Cam Newton deserved his car wreck because he’s a jerk.

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Seriously, this is nothing to laugh at. (Source: ABC News)

Seriously, this is nothing to laugh at. (Source: ABC News)

Continue reading

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Reckless Gambling: Thanksgiving Edition

Is this supposed to be cute? RUN YOU STUPID FUCK LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING!

Is this supposed to be cute? RUN YOU STUPID FUCK LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING!

Ah, Thanksgiving.

Family gathered around the table. The smell of turkey in the air. Your Aunt has had one more glass of wine than is socially acceptable. Grandpa is yelling about the over. It’s a joyous holiday, and a great opportunity to gamble your face off. Unlike a typical Sunday when you might have money on the Jaguars game or some other such eyesore, you will be able to watch every moment of these football games without a satellite dish.

In an unrelated note, these are maybe the most entertaining group of Thanksgiving football games I can remember in some time. Let’s start parting with money, shall we? Continue reading

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Not to Defend Adrian Peterson, but the NFL Has NO IDEA How To Punish People

Hoo boy, this is fun.

Hoo boy, this is fun.

So today the call came down from NFL’s Mount Olympus: Adrian Peterson is suspended for the year. Here’s my quick take on this.

  • Adrian Peterson can miss the whole year, and that doesn’t bother me at all. He was arrested for abusing his kid, and he never came out and apologized sincerely for his actions. He still thinks it’s fine to take a tree branch and whip his kid, and that’s ridiculous. So yeah, he can miss the year and I don’t think that’s too harsh. BUT…
  • The NFL has NO IDEA what they’re doing. Literally. Goodell is this dog.
    Note the NFL logo. We clearly put some work into these pictures.

    Note the logo. We clearly put some work into these pictures.

    If the NFLPA is right, and Peterson was told his time on the Commissioner’s list would be considered as time served, then the NFL still has a problem punishing people. The best thing to do in these cases is to have a policy and stick with it. You can’t afford to show inconsistency, or have your punishments appear arbitrary. Unfortunately, it’s impossible for the NFL to do that because they are literally flying by on the seat of their pants. It’s like when a cheating husband comes home and is asked where he was, and he keeps throwing out answers that the wife won’t accept. The story keeps changing in a desperate, panicked attempt to provide an answer that won’t get them burned at the stake. But the bad news for the NFL is the media for once isn’t buying their bullshit, and with every slipup, another torch gets lit.

  • There will be a battle between Goodell and the NFLPA, and there is literally no way for the NFL to look good. Either he upholds the ruling and everyone knows that the punishment was reactionary and arbitrary, or he folds to the pressure and shows once again that the NFL cares more about media and fan reaction than putting forth a consistent product. The NFL is that high school girl that needs a makeover, and we’re not just talking about the movie makeover where they take off her glasses and put her hair down.
  • No one gives a shit if you picked Peterson up in your fantasy team and now you’re sad. Seriously.

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Jimmy Graham Doesn’t Like Getting Groped on TD Celebrations, and We Have a Solution!

You may have heard Saints tight end Jimmy Graham went into the stands after a touchdown last Sunday, and one of the Black and Gold faithful got a little…friendly with him.

Naturally that bothered Jimmy, and so he plans on never jumping into the Superdome stands again. And we love Jimmy (even though he’s a Bond villain), but I think he’s being a little dramatic here. But no fear, Jimmy: we here at the Footbawl Blog have developed a legal uniform add-on that will allow you to score and mingle with your fans in peace!

VOILA! (Credit to Leon P)

VOILA!
(Credit to Leon P)

Just be sure to thank us in your postgame, buddy.

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