Category Archives: Ramblings

Because “random rant about the Broncos alternate jerseys” can’t be its own category

Arguing With Myself: The Jimmy Graham Trade

Some may know that Nate Raby is a devoted Saints fan. What you may not know is that he is absolutely insane and has arguments with himself on a consistent basis. Today he’s feeling particularly argumentative over the Jimmy Graham trade. Let’s meet our competitors:

On one side is Jimmy Graham Fan Nate (Jimmy Nate for short). He’s wearing a Graham jersey and is standing next to a goalpost that he will be periodically dunking on/breaking during the debate.

So like this, but less athletic (source: draftsharks.com)

So like this, but less athletic (source: draftsharks.com)

On the other side is Saints Fan Nate. He is wearing a polo with the Saints logo on it. He purchased it at an official team store for almost $100. That shows dedication (or just a lot of stupidity.)

Let’s begin! Continue reading

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The Disease That Killed the San Francisco 49ers

We gather here today to pay our respects to the dearly departed San Francisco 49er organization, which has collapsed under the weight of front office egos. The cause of death is long-term illness that attacked the franchise on all sides. This sort of sickness is unprecedented, so all we can do is break down the different ailments that the Niners have incurred in the past few months of this surprisingly quick-moving disease. Continue reading

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What City (‘s Retirement Community) Will Andre Johnson Go To?

As you may have heard, Andre Johnson and the Texans have reached a deal: the team will try to find a trade partner and barring that (you should definitely bar that, it will never happen), they will release him so he can go where he wants.

There are tons of cities that would be really happy to have a man of Andre Johnson’s wealth and stature. But not for their football team. Good Lord, no! He’s almost 80 in football years.

Below is a list of possible destinations for Andre based on their retirement communities and weather. Continue reading

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A Serious Look At The Patriots’ Legacy

A week ago today, we were talking about playcalls, Skittles, and the amazing Left Shark. While we haven’t stopped talking about Left Shark, the conversation has died down on most of the football-related aspects of the Super Bowl. This is how it happens every year: we process what just happened, shove an entire week’s analysis in a span of a few days, and then hibernate like bears until August.

Man I wish I could hibernate until August.

But now, with the confetti being cleaned off of the streets of Boston and teams already making roster moves for next year (Richie Incognito has a job, let’s all get really mad!), it’s a good time to talk about legacies. We’re no longer blinded by the immediacy of the game, so shouting “TOM BRADY IS THE BEST QUARTERBACK OF ALL GALAXIES” won’t be as quickly ignored (although it should be, you should never shout something like that and expect to be taken seriously).

So let’s take a quick look at where this Patriots team stands now that they’ve won their 4th championship in this young century. Continue reading

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The Media Was Right (GASP): The Redskins Don’t See RG3 As QB of the Future

Every once in a while (read: like once a fucking week) the media will latch onto something that is essentially a non-story. It’s usually some perceived slight that the media makes into a much bigger deal than it actually is (“Did LeBron mean to shoulder bump his coach? Does he actually think Coach Spoelstra is Satan?”). So when I first heard about Robert Griffin III being left off of the letter to season ticket holders, I felt like it was probably more of the same. Like perhaps no one was listed and the media was upset that the letter wasn’t basically “HEY THANKS FOR ROOTING FOR THE TEAM RG3 PLAYS FOR!”

So pretty much like this

So pretty much like this

But after reading the letter, I have a new position. I hate to say this, but maybe the media is right about this one. Continue reading

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