Welcome to our new feature: Coaches Being Assholes!
Okay, it’s probably not going to be a real feature. But we’ve been packed to the brim by shitty acts by coaches lately. We’ll start in basketball, where two former players-turned-coaches did acts that some people would call savvy and most of us would call fucking shady as hell.
Kevin McHale intentionally stood in between Tim Duncan and his teammates during an inbounds pass at the end of a quarter. Duncan tried to get him to move, but after moving back to his bench, he stood next to Duncan again. Whether it was to impede Duncan’s play or get a whiff of his musk, McHale’s acts are somewhere between cheapass coach and creepy uncle.
Then there was Jason Kidd, who had no timeouts left in a close game and wanted to run a play. So he did what any asshole coach would do: he told one of his players to bump into him while he was holding a cup of water so it spilled over the floor, then tried to call a play while it was being cleaned up. He got fined and his team still lost, so it sure paid off! (Side note. It’s become the vogue thing to name scandals like this, so I’ve come up with a pretty good one: Watergate! Everyone likes putting -gate at the end of scandals, right?)
But the one most relevant to this blog, and the one that seems to be the getting the most attention, is Mike Tomlin’s dance move during Jacoby Jones’ kickoff return. And with most things, there is overreaction on both sides. So let’s get the obvious stuff out of the way, and then focus on what should be done about it.
What an asshole. (Source: Huffington Post)
For much of our readership, the long weekend started and ended with football. There were important games, amazing individual performances, and in Mike Tomlin’s case one of the most bizarre head coach related incidents in years. Let’s do this, Jerk-a-holics!
Decker’s spike here was a tighter spiral than some of Alex Smith’s passes.
“I think the Chiefs will sweep the Broncos this year!” – Some Idiot
Yeah, like you’ve never said a dumb thing in your whole dumb life! Continue reading
Filed under Articles, MMJ
Hey guys! We recorded our second podcast. You can find it at http://gredunzapress.com/lacesout/?p=13. In this episode, Ben and I talk about intriguing subjects such as the NFL playoff picture, live football, and why fans are dumb.
Good morning, internet. My apologies for missing last week, but I was a busy boy. I trust you were able to say shitty things about famous people amongst yourselves, and the void I left in your lives was not too terrifying. Let’s do this!
If the season stopped today, Aaron Rodgers would not be in the playoffs…and this guy would be.
A Word on the AFC Wildcard Picture
And the word is “gross”.
While the Kansas City Chiefs would be a very respectable wildcard selection, the second wildcard spot is…a little less glamorous. The Jets, Dolphins, Ravens, Steelers, Titans and Chargers all sport a 5-6 record. All of those teams have one thing in common: I had written all of them off at one point or another this season. But here’s the thing about sucking, it doesn’t hurt you so much if almost everyone sucks just as much as you. Continue reading
Filed under Articles, MMJ
Programming note: Ben will have MMJF up tomorrow. So it will actually be Tuesday Morning Jerkface. Ben can be a jerk whatever day he wants!
I was supposed to be done with you, Geno, but you won’t let me go.
I declared this competition over a few weeks ago because EJ Manuel and Mike Glennon weren’t challenging Smith at all. And even though it was fun making fun of Geno’s bad play, his tendency to follow bad weeks with good ones made at least two columns a month a little boring. So I dusted off my photoshop skills, slapped Geno’s face on a toilet bowl, and I was going to leave it alone.
But then you had to do it again, Geno.
In his second game against Manuel and the Bills, Geno put on a performance so gruesome, so sad, that I couldn’t let it slide. I’m a fan of giving the people what they want, and as we watched his performance yesterday, the people were screaming “Encore! Encore!”
So here it is: your Shitty Rookie Quarterback Encore Piece. Continue reading