Okay first off, all of the quarterbacks have to go.
“Death by snuusnuu”
The gator said Brees tastes like Jimmy John’s
Remember, we’re shooting for realism here
“NFLPA can do nothing about it because they literally have no power at all.”
I didn’t kill off Andrew Luck because, come on, he’s overrated.
As for the other positions:
And finally, JJ Watt was found…no, that’s not true. He just plays defense. He’ll never win because he plays defense.
Enjoy your trophy, Tony!
The only thing that wasn’t shopped. How crazy is that?
Some may know that Nate Raby is a devoted Saints fan. What you may not know is that he is absolutely insane and has arguments with himself on a consistent basis. Today he’s feeling particularly argumentative over the Jimmy Graham trade. Let’s meet our competitors:
On one side is Jimmy Graham Fan Nate (Jimmy Nate for short). He’s wearing a Graham jersey and is standing next to a goalpost that he will be periodically dunking on/breaking during the debate.
So like this, but less athletic (source: draftsharks.com)
On the other side is Saints Fan Nate. He is wearing a polo with the Saints logo on it. He purchased it at an official team store for almost $100. That shows dedication (or just a lot of stupidity.)
Let’s begin! Continue reading
We gather here today to pay our respects to the dearly departed San Francisco 49er organization, which has collapsed under the weight of front office egos. The cause of death is long-term illness that attacked the franchise on all sides. This sort of sickness is unprecedented, so all we can do is break down the different ailments that the Niners have incurred in the past few months of this surprisingly quick-moving disease. Continue reading
As you may have heard, Andre Johnson and the Texans have reached a deal: the team will try to find a trade partner and barring that (you should definitely bar that, it will never happen), they will release him so he can go where he wants.
There are tons of cities that would be really happy to have a man of Andre Johnson’s wealth and stature. But not for their football team. Good Lord, no! He’s almost 80 in football years.
Below is a list of possible destinations for Andre based on their retirement communities and weather. Continue reading