Tag Archives: Arizona Cardinals

by | March 14, 2013 · 11:58 am

2012 Divisional Retrospectives: The NFC West

It’s funny to think how putrid a division this was 3 years ago.

Forget the fact that Seattle won a playoff game (I try to every day); the division winning team of the NFC West had a LOSING RECORD. If that doesn’t speak to how bad the NFC West used to be, I don’t know what is.

But now? Things are looking pretty good.

And it’s not just the Niners either. The Seahawks looked surprisingly legitimate towards the end of the season, and the Rams are mediocre, but in a hopeful way. The Cardinals still suck, but somebody’s got to, right?

Add that in with this week’s big wide receiver trades, and you’ve got yourself an interesting division. Sorry, NFC East, no one sucks more than you now!

As always, any excuse to laugh at Tony Romo.

As always, any excuse to laugh at Tony Romo.

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by | July 30, 2012 · 9:22 pm

The NFL and ESPN Conspiring Together, Or How I Tried To Make a Cardinals News Story Interesting

It was either play football or be an extra in a Kid Rock video

Three hundred and twenty words.

That’s how many words were in an ESPN article earlier today about Kevin Kolb being #1 on the Cardinals’ depth chart.

That’s also how many words were wasted.

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by | April 23, 2012 · 5:49 pm

Face to Face with Beanie Wells (Interview)

Writer’s Note: The following is reposted with permission, originally printed in Mountainside Fitness’ Spring 2012 edition of M Magazine. If you’re in Arizona, check out a Mountainside. They have badass TRX stations if you want to look cool while playing with a gigantic string of rope.

Just like this.

Not included in this article is our conversation about Jim Tressell, his desire to play for the Bengals or Browns, or how we made fun of Vontaze Burfict, who was working out on site. Stay tuned for those sordid tales…

Beanie Wells has reached his goal. Now, he just has to keep it.

“When you’re a kid, your dream is to make it to the NFL,” Beanie said, “But when you’re in the NFL, your dream is to stay in the NFL.” Playing football professionally, among such elite athletes, is a career coveted by many yet claimed by few, and though the benefits can be enormous at times, longevity is not a quality common among its participants. “So often, you see guys get in and out, in and out, in and out,” Beanie said. “People are here one day and gone the next, and you never know when that last day will be.”

But Beanie isn’t worrying about that at all — instead, he enjoys every second spent in the league, and works hard to ensure his playing days last for the long haul. Taking time to rest after hitting the free weights at Mountainside Fitness’ Gilbert location, Beanie is already hard at work preparing for the 2012 football season. “When you’re doing this, you have to prepare like a professional. Not only on the field, but off the field.”

And even though the team hasn’t reported to camp, the time off hasn’t given him an excuse to let up. “You’ve got a time period, like the first month of the offseason, you can kind of relax, eat all your junk food, and party a little bit,” he said. “But it has to come to a point where you have to kick it in, turn it into gear. You have to be prepared and you have to work out.”

Now that he’s a professional, he said, he’s at a level where he’s playing among the most talented in the game. He needs to be disciplined, and that includes working out everyday — even during the offseason.

“Working out is the most important thing. The offseason is huge.” Beanie said. “It’s more intense. In the regular season, you’re just doing weightlifting stuff to maintain strength and stay in shape.”

But Beanie’s offseason is the opposite, he said. He’s working out more, lifting more, hoping to build upon his already considerable strength. And he’s running often, always improving his endurance, speed, and quickness.

“You have to go hard” Beanie said.

Health is one of Beanie’s main concerns this year, having ended last season with a knee injury. He’s worked hard to repair the damage, and recently underwent a minor arthroscopic surgical procedure.

Now the Cardinals running back is healthy. He’s working out, and he’s preparing for an even better season than the one he had in 2011, which won’t be an easy feat. Despite the injury, he finished 2011 as the Cardinals’ leading rusher, attaining 1,047 yards in 14 starts.

He stomped through the eventual Super Bowl Champions, the New York Giants, in Week 5, rushing for over 130 yards and scoring three touchdowns. The next week, in a tough loss to the Minnesota Vikings, Beanie showed an impressive physical display when he plowed Cedric Griffin, knocking the imposing cornerback’s helmet off, before getting a first down. (“That play made it worthwhile,” Beanie said.) And toward the end of the season, against the St. Louis Rams, Beanie had his best career game yet, gaining 228 yards on the ground including a breakaway 71-yard-run stopped just short of the goal line.

The Cardinals had some troubles on offense throughout the season, but Beanie’s consistency on the ground became an integral part of their scoring attack and was a large part of the team’s 9-7 finish. Beanie said his success has earned him some confidence with the coaching staff, and that he’s really looking forward to a full off-season unhindered by a lockout.

“I love what I do,” he said. “I know, at the end of the day, this is what pays the bills but you have to be good at your job in order to have it.” Beanie’s work ethic is rooted in advice his father gave him in college.

“Just take care of yourself. You have to take care of YOU, first and foremost, because nobody else will,” he said. “Nobody is going to take a hit for you, nobody is going to run the football for you, nobody is going to lift a weight for you. You have to carry yourself that way.”

Beanie cites his parents as the source of his inspiration, who raised him along with 11 other brothers and sisters. Now a father to two children of his own, he said he wants to be a great parent to his kids just as his mom and dad were to him. “Being a father, that’s beyond anything,” Beanie said. “I want to raise my kids to grow up to be great young men, and everything else is secondary to that.”

Maturity comes at a young age for Beanie, who will turn 24 this August. His success has come with notoriety, and he’s using that for a good cause — currently, Beanie and his camp are teaming with the Make-A-Wish Foundation, organizing an event in Scottsdale to raise money for Arizona children.

“We’re going to do a charity poker tournament,” Beanie said. “We’re going to get a couple local celebrities and a few of the Arizona Cardinals teammates.”

It’s clear that Beanie’s own parents instilled a sense of responsibility he carries on and off the field, working hard for his team, his family, and his community.

Beanie might not act it, but he is a young man. He shared with us his playful side when he mentioned he’s a ‘90s kid who grew up watching shows like Ren & Stimpy and Legends of the Hidden Temple. His favorite superhero is the Flash, which is fitting for a pro running back. In his teens, he watched “The Notebook” with hopes of learning more about the opposite sex. And despite his strict diet and workout regimen, he’ll still partake in a seasonal Thin Mint cookie binge, courtesy of the Girl Scouts of America.

I dare you to talk shit about Ahh! Real Monsters.

Don’t mistake these as signs of immaturity, for they are anything but. Instead, take them as notice that Beanie knows how to have fun and doesn’t take himself too seriously. And though he still indulges in ‘90s Nickelodeon cartoons from time to time, he maintains a sense of dignity and class.

He prefers spending his spare time fishing for bass and catfish instead of playing video games. He strays away from Twitter controversy, which has become an all-too common commotion among today’s athletes. And he prefers to mellow out to the smooth sounds of Marvin Gaye before a game, instead of the typical frenetic pump-up music echoing throughout the arena. That sense of maturity is hard to come by among professional athletes today.

Beanie attended Ohio State University for three years before declaring for the NFL, and he says his time in college was integral to his growing up.

“You not only learn a trade, you also learn how to grow up,” Beanie said of college. “It teaches you how to take responsibility and accountability for what you do.”

He hasn’t graduated yet, having entered the NFL before getting his degree, but Beanie said he has plans to finish his education through online school before transferring back to Ohio State.

“I have 12 credit hours left,” he said. “My parents stressed to me and my brothers and sisters, to get an education because, ultimately, you can’t do anything without it.”

A product of no one’s hard work but his own, Beanie handles his responsibilities with pride. And now that he’s become the foundation of the Cardinals’ running game, he’s working to keep his spot at the top of the depth chart.

“I came from a system at Ohio State where I was used to getting the ball,” he said. “For me to get back to that this past season was amazing … This year I’m looking forward to going into it a lot healthier and still getting the bulk of the carries.”

Looking into his crystal ball, Beanie channeled the infamous Bart Scott in making his prediction:

“I can’t wait. 2012 is definitely going to be a big year.”

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by | April 4, 2012 · 2:16 pm

Team Retrospective: Arizona Cardinals

 

"Give me a second! Taking a dump in here."

 

I thought Peyton Manning was going to end up a Cardinal. Old people like Phoenix, don’t they? I’ve been there—it’s hot, flat, and boring, and there’s 800 golf courses within a three mile radius. Sounds ideal for a cranky elderly man with neck issues. Not to mention Peyton would have gotten to throw footballs at that Larry Fitzgerald guy. Perhaps Arizona dropped out of the race due to the embarrassment of riches they felt they had at signal-caller with Kevin Kolb and John Skelton.

That QB situation led to a tale of two halves for the Cards in 2011.  Wonderboy Kolb led them to a 1-7 start before being replaced by Skelton due to injury. The team then proceeded to win seven of its last nine games to salvage an 8-8 finish. It’s sort of a misnomer, though. Skelton’s completion percentage was lower than Kolb’s and he threw more interceptions. He also ended the year with a QB rating of 68.9 compared to Kolb’s 81.1. But he put up the Ws, and that’s usually good for the resume.

All this led to Arizona’s front office making the totally logical move of giving the guy who didn’t win them any games a $7 million off-season bonus. Then they made fans aware that in 2012, Kolb and Skelton would be fighting for the starting spot, and that they’d “let the process play out — like at every position” according to Coach Ken Whisenhunt. Here’s $7 million. You’re our guy. We’re behind you. Oh also, you have to compete with someone else for your job all year.

I’d calculate that QB is the one position where you don’t want any processes to play out because it inevitably screws with your team. Running back by committee works, quarterback doesn’t. Watch what happens in New York next year with the guaranteed debacle that will be Sanchez-Tebow. I promise it will not end well, and neither will the situation in Arizona if they keep waffling all year.

Oh yeah. I forgot this is a season recap, not a “why I’m smarter than everyone in the Cardinals front office” piece. Back to the boringness that is the NFC West! Here’s your Arizona Cardinals retrospective, dear readers.

Season Highlight: I don’t know. They beat San Francisco once? Us footbawl bloggers have really been abusing the ____-game win streak thing in this season highlight category thus far.  And I guess I’m not impressed that this team barely squeaked out wins against Seattle, Cleveland, Dallas, and St. Louis in the final stretch of the schedule. Whoop-ding. They beat San Francisco. There. That’s what we’ll go with. I hate these .500 teams.

Season Lowlight: Showing everyone you can barely survive in a crappy division where you get to play the Rams and the Seahawks twice a year. Honorable mention goes to the other game against San Fran in week 11 where they coughed up the football five times and John Skelton gave a heroic performance with three picks and a 10.3 QB rating.

He's better at his job than you are at yours

Team MVP: Larry Fitzgerald is clearly unaffected by whoever happens to be throwing footballs at him. He chalks up the same gaudy numbers anyway. 80 grabs, 1,400 yards, 8 TDs, aka typical Larry Fitzgerald year. Manly.

Needs: A less wussy logo. That bird doesn’t look mean, he just looks like he’s trying to take a dump and someone’s banging on the door.

What’s A Cardinals Fan Drinking These Days?: A John Daly. They’re quite refreshing. Seriously though, have you ever been to Phoenix? It’s hot as shit there. I don’t know why Phoenicians would ever go outside when the sun is up. It’s like that hot lava game you play as a kid except that every square inch of city is the hot lava. Maybe Peyton did make the right call in tasting the Rockies after all.

Jango Scale of Scandal Likelihood:

I’ll admit I don’t actually know what this means and can’t be bothered to look it up. I know Star Wars. I have some POTF-packaged Jawas and Sandtroopers in my storage space as we speak. I’ll assume it’s based on fan-fiction submitted by BVI to George Lucas. And in that case, I’ll rate this as low. Because the only impending threat in the Cardinals organization is them boring the general public to death with their mediocre existence.

Entirely Too Early Prediction for 2012:  I don’t see them improving much but I also don’t see much of their competition improving, so it might be a wash. Hopefully they wow the world with another 8-8 finish. Man, I got gradually more testy as I wrote this. From now on I’m only writing about exciting things for this site, like whether this year’s team sideline hats with have…stripes? polka-dots? stripes AND polka-dots?! The possibilities are endless!!! Stay tuned!!!

Editor’s Note: The Seahawks are up tomorrow.  Fucking Christ.

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