Tag Archives: Joe Flacco

Delayed Reaction: Jacoby Jones is the Rightful Super Bowl MVP

This will probably become an annual column: THAT FUCKING QUARTERBACK DIDN’T DESERVE THE GODDAMN MVP.

Starring this asshole!

Starring this asshole!

It might be unfair this year. Last year, Eli played well enough but mostly got it because there weren’t enough legit contenders elsewhere (although I still think Tuck deserved a mention.) This year, Flacco played a brilliant first half but was mostly ineffective in the second half (along with the rest of the Ravens), but there was a candidate who deserved it far more. Continue reading

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Stories More Interesting Than Harbaughs: The Super Bowl Quarterback Winning Effect

Today we go further on our quest to avoid talking about the coaches of our respective conference champions. And like last week’s Randy Moss piece, this is probably also only interesting to me. But at least it isn’t a circlejerk piece wondering “I WONDER WHAT THE HARBAUGH DINNER TABLE IS LIKE TONIGHT HURR HURR HURR.”

Today’s subject: the Super Bowl Winning QB Effect, or “So we’re really going to call Colin Kaepernick elite now?”

Colin: "We are?!"The world: "Ugh."

Colin: “We are?!”
The world: “Ugh.”

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Football Themed Halloween Costumes!

Halloween is today. If you’re anything like me, you came up with an awesome costume idea sometime in June, and thought, “Man, that’s awesome! And the best part of it is I have all this time to prepare it!”

And then, 4 months later, you realize the most you did was browse online and not buy anything because costumes are fucking expensive.

Well no fear! We here at the Footbawl Blog have compiled a list of last minute, NFL-themed costumes for you to wow your friends with! Read the list, look around the house, and see what you can scrounge up! Continue reading

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Team Retrospective: Baltimore Ravens

It would have been easy for John Harbaugh to be a real stick in the mud after losing the AFC title game to the Patriots in heartbreaking fashion.  Once again his team played well in the regular season, once again they won a playoff game, but the combination of a dropped pass and a missed field goal sent his team home short of the Super Bowl again.  But yet he looked right into the camera a few minutes after the final whistle and told reporters that he was proud of his team and that they would come back next year determined.

A lot of coaches say things like this in the face of a gutting loss, but very rarely do I ever believe it.  Normally it comes off as just a line or a schtick, press conference mad-libs if you will.  But this moment was the epitome of what I like so much about the Ravens: they have perspective.  This is one of the best run organizations in not only pro football, but pro sports altogether.  They might not have the quantity of titles that their biggest rivals the Steelers do, but when you say “Ravens football” everyone immediately knows what you’re talking about.  Not enough teams have that kind of identity anymore.

The season didn’t end the way they wanted, but there’s a lot of bullshit poetry out there about the journey being the reward or something.  This is the 2011 Ravens Retrospective.

Team Highlight: Call me a twisted asshole, but one of my favorite things about being a football fan is seeing a rival fan base in pain.  I wish I could bottle the tears of Vikings fans and have them as an occasional after dinner drink.  The Ravens managed to inflict two entirely different kinds of pain on the Steelers and their fans this season.  In week one Baltimore forced SEVEN TURNOVERS in a complete thrashing of the defending AFC champions, and then in week nine on Sunday Night Football the Ravens erased a late deficit when Joe Flacco connected with Torrey Smith on a dramatic 26 yard game winning touchdown in the closing moments of the game.  Yeah, that’s the pain variety pack right there.  This is maybe the only pro football rivalry that can match their college counterparts in sheer dislike.  In a futuristic dystopian alternate universe James Harrison and Terrell Suggs would have already battled to the death on pay per view by now.

Team Lowlight: Well, this one is pretty easy.  Billy Cundiff missed a 32 yard field goal that very likely would have sent the AFC championship game into overtime in New England.  Despite the nice things I said about Harbaugh earlier, I still think this falls mostly on him.  I just can’t imagine a scenario where I would want a field goal of this magnitude attempted after a kicker has to run onto the field at the last moment.  Once the communication started to break down, once it became clear that something wonky was going on with the scoreboard, just take a timeout.  It’s really that simple.  Jason Garrett would have had no problem icing his own kicker in that spot!

Seriously, just give him the ball

Team MVP: That high pitched whining noise you hear coming from the general direction of Baltimore is Joe Flacco reacting to the news that he would not be taking home this unofficial but coveted award.  If I were a Ravens fan I don’t know if I would be encouraged that Joe started to get snippy with reporters about the perception of his QB play towards the end of the year, or just annoyed that he gives that much of a crap about what the media says about him.  Either way, I would have loved to be a fly on the wall when Flacco’s agent asked the team for top five QB money.  Management must have been looking around for Ashton Kutcher!  Anyway, I thought about giving this one to Suggs as T-Sizzle did win defensive player of the year but upon further reflection the correct answer to this is Ray Rice.  In the regular season the Ravens were 1-4 when Ray had less than 18 carries and 11-0 when he had 18 or more.  It’s easy to dismiss these stats and say “well when you are losing you run less” but with the exception of the C hargers game the Ravens were never really blown out all year, they just abandoned the run for seemingly no reason in the middle of close games.

Needs: Left guard Ben Grubbs is a free agent and seems to be making progress towards a deal with the Ravens, but if he does leave that will be a position they will want to address.  It also appears that center Matt Birk will not be retiring, but it might be wise to start looking for his future replacement in the draft.  A lot of people think of WR as a need for this team, but I think Lee Evans will do a lot better in his second season with the club as long as he can stay injury free.  But seriously, can they get a more menacing mascot already?  When I think of a Raven, I think of THIS!

AAAAAAAAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Not this.

He is actually on loan from Chucky Cheese

What’s in a Raven fan’s liquor cabinet: Champagne.  And they’ve had it for a few years now.  Just sitting there.  Waiting.

Straight Cash Homey Meter:

 As I said earlier, I don’t think wideout is a huge need for the Ravens but adding some depth wouldn’t be the worst thing.  Plus, this is the kind of locker room where Randy Moss couldn’t pull any shit.  If he started to become a cancer Ray Lewis and Ed Reed would set him straight I have a feeling.  And by that I mean Reed would turn part of his helmet into a shiv.  As of now I have still not been contacted by Randy Moss about my offer to represent him as an agent.

Entirely Too Early Prediction for 2012: While Chris picked the Steelers to win the north, I think the Ravens go 13-3 and repeat as division champs.  For as much as I like to make fun of Flacco sometimes, I think he might have gotten over a mental barrier in that New England game (despite the loss) and I think he’s ready to improve next season.

Well that’s it for this week.  Stop by on Tuesday when we begin our retrospectives of the NFC North!

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