Tag Archives: your favorite team sucks

Your Favorite Team Sucks: The Chicago Bears

I want to start this off by saying that I understand.

I understand why the Bears signed Jay Cutler to an extension. I understand why they didn’t just roll the dice with Josh McCown. Quarterback is a tricky position, and if you have a guy who is good enough, you don’t get rid of him for the mystery. The quarterbacks who could have replaced Cutler were no guarantee to be better, or even comparable. Getting rid of a quarterback with talent is one of the hardest things for a franchise to do. So I completely understand.

But at the same time, sometimes you’re in a situation where you lose no matter what you do.

And that’s where your favorite team finds itself. No matter what the Bears do, they suck.

Just one of many great results of my "Bears suck" google search

Just one of many great results of my “Bears suck” google search

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Your Favorite Team Sucks: The Oakland Raiders

Imagine you’re thirteen years old and it’s almost Christmas. You know the truth about Santa, but it’s still a very exciting time of year for you, because, hey, fuckin’ presents. Your mom tells you that money is tight this year, so you shouldn’t expect much more than a nice pair of socks. And you’re somewhat disappointed, but you’re old enough to understand that these things happen, and you’ve resigned yourself to socks. At least they’ll be a nice pair, right?

But then a week before Christmas, you’re in Wal*Mart with your mom and you go off to look at some movies. When you walk around trying to find your mom, you see her near the toy section with a big package she won’t let you see. And then you realize – sneaky mom! She was just playing a trick on you, and you’re going to get an awesome gift after all! Fuck socks!

So now it’s Christmas morning, and you can barely contain your excitement. You don’t see the big package under the tree, but you figure this is part of the trick; she’s going to bring it out when all the presents are unwrapped. But then, before you know it, no more presents are under the tree, and you’re holding a pair of stupid socks in your hand. And then you realize that present wasn’t for you, your mom was just being sneaky for no reason, and Christmas is a fucking joke because all you have is a smelly pair of socks.

This is what being a fan of the Oakland Raiders is like.

"What the fuck, mom?" (source: NFL.com)

“What the fuck, mom?” (source: NFL.com)

Your Favorite Team is the Oakland Raiders, and they suck. Continue reading

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Your Favorite Team Sucks: The Pittsburgh Steelers

The Pittsburgh Steelers are the sole leader in Super Bowl titles with 7 6 THANK YOU LUKE. They are a model franchise with only three head coaches since 1962. They are an iconic feature to the National Football League, and one that belongs in the conversation when you talk about the best franchise in the league.

Today, though? Today they fucking suck.

Source: Someone who takes really funny pictures

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Your Favorite Team Sucks: The Baltimore Ravens

In the NFL, we are obsessed with peaking. Everyone is concerned with teams getting hot at the right time. It makes sense; after all, the last two Super Bowl champions were mediocre to above average for most of the season before they rattled off four straight wins.

Here at the Footbawl Blog, we aren’t as concerned with peaks. Let the ESPNs and NFL.coms of the world handle it. We here appreciate crashing more than peaking, and today, it’s time to pay attention to one of the great crashing stories of the year, and simultaneously the pick for Your Favorite Team sucks this week.

Ladies and gentlemen, your 2012 Baltimore Ravens! Continue reading

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Your Favorite Team Sucks : (Sigh) The New Orleans Saints

This one’s gonna hurt.

The good news is this outfit will improve my attractiveness by 88%

Today your favorite team is the New Orleans Saints, and they suck. They don’t only suck because of what occurred on Sunday. They suck because that game made me question my view on the young season and the potential of the future for my (our) favorite team. Continue reading

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