Your Guide to the Three-Way Jets QB Controversy!

"Yeah, honestly...I was down to about this much confidence. It's for the best."

“Yeah, honestly…I was down to about this much confidence. It’s for the best.”

After beating Arizona in a game that many are calling, “the worst thing I’ve ever seen”, the Jets improved their record to 5-7.

But perhaps the biggest story in the game was Rex Ryan FINALLY benching Mark Sanchez. The local media and fans are often annoyed with starting quarterbacks, but this is one case where the coach truly seemed like the only person on earth that thought that Sanchez deserved to keep his job. In most cases pulling him earlier in the season would have been a no-brainer, but it starts to get more complicated when you take a look at the other signal callers on the roster. Rex announced this morning that Sanchez will be keeping his job (for now) but that doesn’t mean this story is going to go away. This is why I put together this handy guide to the Jets three-way QB controversy!

The case for starting Mark Sanchez

-Experience and knowledge of the offense

-The odds of running face first into his own lineman’s butt and fumbling again in the same season seem long

-The NFL’s 186th playoff tiebreaker is “Most games started by players with douchey GQ photo shoots”

The case against starting Sanchez

-Awful quarterback

-Seriously, have you been watching this shit?

-Isn’t calling plays in the huddle anymore, just openly weeping

The case for starting Tim Tebow

-Spread option offense is hard to prepare against

TEBOW! TEBOW! TEBOW! What do you mean that’s not a reason?

-Can avoid intentional grounding calls by just explaining, “I actually have no control over where I’m throwing the ball”

The case against starting Tebow

-Awful quarterback

-As it turns out, holding the other team to ten points and relying on them to employ an idiotic defensive strategy at the end of the game is not sustainable

-God is more of an RG3 fan this year

The case for starting Greg McElroy

-NFL teams do not have much tape on him, which could be beneficial for a few weeks

-When you squint, kind of looks like Drew Brees from afar

-Fuck it, why not?

The case against starting McElroy

-Awful quarterback

-Before Sunday, was most known in the NFL for ripping on his teammates

-Actually a Patriots sleeper agent, raised from birth by Bill Belichick*

(* I’ve been watching a lot of Homeland)

Who do you think should start for the Jets? Let us know in the comments section!


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4 responses to “Your Guide to the Three-Way Jets QB Controversy!

  1. Matt K

    Yeah, but what’s the case for starting Mark-with-a-K Sanchez? Or has his performance become so bad that he’s prepping for a career in the CFL fighting for the Grey Cup?

    • So weird how I got it in my head there was a c there instead, even as I was reading about him this morning

      • Matt K

        I’ve still got this lingering image of him trying to sneak into the Jets practice facility wearing a cravate and a beret, which is fantastic, so thanks for that.

  2. Len Cosell

    As a Jets follower (or fan if you ask Nate :oP)…here’s where I’m at on this whole thing.

    I believe Nas was right when he rapped…

    So you went Platinum,
    Yeah that’s nice,
    So let me see you do the same thing twice..

    Mark Sanchez in his first two years helped guide his team to the AFC Championship game. In the not so great history of the New York Jets (and take this as you will…), it makes him the most decorated QB since Broadway Joe of the 60s. Sad, right? At some point between the end of their last AFC Championship game and the start of last season…management lost its damn mind and just decimated the roster. I have no clue why Braylon’s ballin’ for Mark’s college coach when I’ve yet to hear he was any kind of problem in the locker room or whatever. Or why this team wasted its first round pick on a guy who would’ve been a first rounder about two years ago. Or (insert dumbass move here)…

    McElroy on Sunday had what I call “The Madden Backup Good Game”. You know the one where the backup comes in after your starter is KO’d and has a good game, then is back to second string the week after? Yup. That’s the one. Rex for better or in this particular instance, repugnantly worse, is sticking with Mark and I’ll let Mark in on a little secret that he is probably not aware of. He’s playing for his job the rest of this month and probably his career as a Jet. Because given the remainder of this year and the lack of quality the opposition presents him, if he lays another brown logger like he did four days ago…he’s done. If not him, either Rex for being the dummy to stick with him or Tannenbaum for hosing this roster up the way he has.

    Funny aside, in Madden ’12 I was running with the Jets and I ended up trading Sanchez after drafting a QB in the third round who ended up being way better than Marky Mark was. Ironically, he went to Florida like that Tebow fella. As for Tebow, the very sad part of this is in a league where the likes of Bledsoe, Delhomme and other retched ass QBs have been given chance after chance to fuck up franchises with their play…he’s getting a raw deal. What’s even worse here is the sad reality that in light of the fact that he actually won a playoff game last year in walk off fashion and probably has more clutch in his right kneecap than Sanchez has in his body or contract, this might be the end for Tebow. Jacksonville didn’t trade for him and even with the plethora of teams that need QBs, I don’t know if any of these squads will give him the time of day he really deserves. Len Cosell says it doesn’t matter to me how you throw or if your spiral’s as tight as virgin poon tang. Just win me the game and all’s great. Tebow proved last year he wins games even if it’s bowling shoe fugly at times.

    Along that last point, I think that alone kinda/sorta diminishes the case one could make for Peyton’s 5th MVP trophy. I mean, it’s not like he came in with his bionic neck and saved this team from utter doom. He’s just the game’s most cerebral field general picking up where God’s Favorite Quarterback (or not depending on who you ask) left off.