Trolling a Troll: Colin Cowherd loves blackouts, hates fans

"I love blackouts! Almost as much as I love the Yankees, and Duke basketball."

“I love blackouts! Almost as much as I love the Yankees, and Duke basketball.”

Originally this feature was designed simply to pick apart the subpar logic and ludicrous analogies of Colin Cowherd, which I would be far more effective at if I listened to or watched him regularly. The reason why this is only the second one of these pieces is because most days I really can’t stomach his show. The other day, I happened across it by accident and was instantly filled with a burning rage that could only be satisfied by…well, blogging about it. That sounds so anticlimactic, doesn’t it?

As you may or may not know, John McCain is sponsoring a bill that would (among other things) eliminate blackouts for sports events on the TV. Rumor has it the bill’s original title was, “Now a Marlins fan can actually watch a game for Christ sake”. On some level even discussing this is a waste of time as the odds of the bill passing don’t seem all that good. But just the same, the fact that the discussion is happening at all is encouraging. Sports fans of shitty teams all over the country are rejoicing!

Except Colin Cowherd, who would never dare become a fan of a subpar team.

On his radio show this week, in an interview with McCain, Colin explained that this would be bad news because the NFL needs to be exclusive. After all, the NFL can’t just give away games for free! You know, like they do every week to people that don’t even have cable. McCain, in the first point that he has made that I agree with in a decade, basically pointed out that fans have already paid enough. He stated that if professional football teams want to fund their stadium with tax payer money that the games should be able to be viewed in the team’s home market…even if they don’t sell all of the tickets.

From there, Colin went into one of his ludicrous analogies that involved a cook at a local restaurant or some other such horse shit that made no fucking sense.

The logic of people that are for TV blackouts (aka demons) typically consists of the following: “not showing the game on TV when all the tickets don’t sell encourages people to show up and support the team”. Translation: “MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY AHAHAHAHAHAHA MONEY MONEY”. In my humble opinion, the logic (before translation mind you) just doesn’t work. If I am making minimum wage in Cincinnati, and the Bengals game isn’t on the television I’m not going to turn to the wife and say, “Well, I wasn’t planning on going to the game today, but there’s no other way to watch it so….yeah, get a babysitter.” If anything, it causes a vicious cycle that creates resentment for the league and the team.

Ending blackouts of NFL games, and other sports contests, is not likely to be a major topic come the next election season…but I think the issue is a compelling one. I am not ruling out this topic gaining more and more traction.

But really my main point is fuck Colin Cowherd in the face. With a flaming barb wire wrapped baseball bat.


Filed under Articles, Trolling a Troll

3 responses to “Trolling a Troll: Colin Cowherd loves blackouts, hates fans

  1. baldbobbo

    When the Saints were terrible, they used to sell out due to the threat of a blackout. Now that they are successful, that’s not a case anymore.

    You’re a Packers fan, so you’ve never had the threat of not seing your favorite team due to a blackout (or the fact that the Packers get a lot of prime-time coverage or are favored for the national game).

    I understand the concerns, but at the end of the day, the NFL is tax-exempt, and should not withhold services that are tied directly to their tax exemption – that they need to have access to their product for all tax payers.

  2. Well, I don’t live in the Green Bay area so the blackout rules wouldn’t affect me anyway. I live in Wisconsin, but it’s hours away from GB.

    Your point about the Saints is well received, but I think that’s more of the exception than the rule. The Bengals were a playoff team last year and they still had some games blacked out. I don’t think the threat of the blackout works for most cities.

  3. The dolphins deal with this every year. But I usually just except that were going to lose in the 4th quarter so the black out makes it somewhat less painfull then watching the prison rape real time.