It’s here! NFL Thursday Kickoff! And you know what that means: it’s time for the beast Von Miller to be released, souls of quarterbacks the only offering that will satiate his unending, evil hunger.
Tonight, the Super Bowl Champion Denver Broncos take on the NFC Champion Carolina Panthers in a match I’m calling The Emperor’s Clothes, because the Broncos are trotting out a lineup without a quarterback and expecting us to believe someone named Trevor Siemian actually exists.
For many, it’s the culmination of a long offseason, the end of hypothetical and the birth of actual. For most of us, though, it’s the perfect excuse to casually get alcohol poisoning!
To that end, the scientists at the Footbawl Blog lab have concocted a drinking game explicitly designed to make your boss look at you Friday morning and say “You’re an embarrassment, Johnson. Drink some coffee and pack your things, you’re fired.”
We’ve organized our rules into three categories: Sip, Gulp, and Chug. I hope that’s self-explanatory, but just in case Mark Sanchez is reading this, I’ll describe each category below.